Page 53 of Dust and Ashes

She wanted to say something to either of their agents about the fact they had for all intents and purposes left her to rot in that compound—even if she hadn’t been there when they showed up to get their agent back.

What would the public think when Kenna made everyone who cared to listen aware that the FBI had abandoned a US citizen in a foreign country, knowing full well they were in danger? That they saved only their man and not her?

But she didn’t have time to get into that right now.

Kenna shoved the door open and closed it quickly behind her. She didn’t want anyone to see her reaction.

Jax lay in the hospital bed, hooked up to all kinds of wires. He had a tube in his throat. She wasn’t sure if the machine was breathing for him or just helping him get enough oxygen. Bags of medicine hung from a stand. Monitors recorded every beat of his heart.

She swiped at the moisture on her cheeks and moved to stand beside the bed.

Kenna took his hand, entwining her fingers with his. She sniffed back the rush of tears and leaned down to touch her forehead to his. “I’m sorry.”

He wouldn’t have been hurt if it wasn’t for her. He would never have been dragged into this. And while she knew without a doubt that he would never be mad at her for the fact he was captured and tortured, that didn’t stop her from wishing he never had been.

She wanted to be altruistic and walk out of his life. Leave. Because he was clearly better off without her.

It was the right thing to do.

Jax should go back to the US and back to his life. He should heal and forget all about her.

She was going to let him be rather than dig her heels in and stay in this room. But she also wasn’t about to never see him again. Kenna only had a few people in her life. She’d fought through the fear of others being hurt because of her—or her being the one who hurt them. She’d come to the point where she could accept her need for a small group of people who cared about her.

Right now she could honestly say she was too selfish to let him go.

If he didn’t make it, then she would have her answer. But if he did survive and he got through this—if he healed and returned to his life—would that be the answer that the future was about them being together?

Kenna thumbed away the tears that fell on his cheek.

She laid a kiss on his forehead, almost glad he was unconscious so he didn’t have to see her carrying on like this.

There was only one thing she wanted to say to him right now.

Kenna held both sides of his head gently in her hands and touched her forehead to his. “Don’t leave me.”

If he died…

The door opened. “Time’s up.”

She straightened and rounded the bed, her chin up as she passed the agent. Whatever he thought about her she didn’t care. “Take care of him.”

“Why does that sound like a threat?”

She didn’t turn back, just strode to the hall and Stairns. “Because it is.”

He waited until they were back in the pickup before he said, “You good?”

“I will be when he’s up and moving around.” And far from her.

“Fair enough.” He drove across town, past the coffee shop where she and Kart had sat down with Navarro.

Kenna wanted to ask a million questions about how Stairns had managed to convince the cartel leader to attack the compound. If it was only about getting Ramon back, or whether there was more to it.

She didn’t want to believe he might have given up Camila’s location. Stairns might not even have the young woman on his radar as being part of this, and just because he betrayed her once didn’t mean he would do it again. Not even to save her life. And absolutely not if he knew Camila was pregnant.

Stairns had daughters and grandchildren. There was no way he would put an innocent life in danger—unborn or otherwise.

He pulled up behind the hotel and used a key card to open a back door. The place was older but had some ornate aspects to the décor. “Two sixteen.” He glanced at her. “Should I add a night or two to our reservation, or are we checking out right now?”

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