Page 22 of Birthday Boy

“Your laugh, that’s how I found you guys at the park,” Jensen says, his chin quivering for a second before he clears his throat. “At first, I thought I imagined it. A sound I vividly remembered from my childhood before–” He looks up at the ceiling, blinking harshly before tilting his head back down. “Then it came again. So loud and clear. I had to know why. What was making you so happy… Why him?”

I look up at him, and clench down on my molars. His tense face watches me back and I shake my head with a small shrug. “It just happened. I don’t know what to say. One day, he was the boy I helped raise, and then the next, he wasn’t.”

Jensen’s throat bobs. “He was my best friend.”

“I know, Jensen. And I’m so sorry. I never meant for it to happen.” My voice is hoarse as I try to hold back tears. The devastation on his face is hurting me more than anything, and I’m afraid if I cry, he will just get irritated by it and end the conversation.

He scoffs. “Cole has never been into anyone the entire time I’ve known him. I’ve never heard him talk about another girl or kiss another girl. Hell, I thought maybe he was gay.”

I hate that a sick, twisted part of me found satisfaction that Jensen was confirming everything Cole had already admitted to me. That his feelings were genuine and not just a ploy to get me into bed.

“I think he was afraid to speak about it with you. I mean, how would you approach your friend?”

Jensen grimaces. “I wouldn’t bang my friend’s mom to begin with.”

I sigh, biting the corner of my mouth. “It’s… more than that, Jensen. We’re not just– Look, we didn’t mean to hurt you, but you can’t help who you’re…”

“In love with?” he offers, the stoic expression not giving me any hints if that’s what he wanted or if that’s what he’s afraid of.

“I don’t know. Maybe.” I run a hand through my hair and lean back. “After your father, I’ve never been interested in anyone. And then, one day, Cole was confessing how he felt, and I could see it. I could see myself with him. And maybe that’s selfish of me. Maybe I should have just ignored it. But you have no idea how lonely it’s been.”

Blowing out a breath, I blink away the tears. “To have someone you planned to spend the rest of your life withripped awayfrom you, it’s crippling, honey. It’s not easy to move on. Actually, I’m pretty sure if I didn’t have you, I wouldn’t have. I would have just joined your dad.”

Jensen wipes at the corner of his eye, and I reach for him. He cups my palm in his, and I rub at the back of his hand with my thumb. “It’s just a different side of grief than losing your parent. And not something I could openly discuss.”

He snorts. “Yeah, I don’t need to know about your sex life.”

“I know that Cole really wanted to keep this a secret because he didn’t want to lose your friendship. But if we had continued, I’m not even sure how we would’ve told you.”

“I know–”

Loud pounding of the door startles us both, and Jensen hurries to open it. Cole is holding himself up on the frame, blood pouring from his face, and the visible skin of his neck is red and purple.

“Oh my god!” I gasp.

Jensen hisses out ajesusas he grabs Cole under the arm.

“I– nowhere… go,” Cole mutters through rattled breaths.

“Put him on the couch!” I command Jensen, running to the bathroom to grab some towels and the first aid kit. Tucking the folded white cotton under my arm, I squat down to rummage under the sink. The kit is buried in the back, and I curse when I knock over a bunch of items as I pull it out.

Kicking the box of tampons out of my way, I pause as I stare at the wrapped plastic applicators spilled all around my feet. I can’t remember the last time I had my period, but that isn’t unusual for the past two years. That doesn’t mean I’m pregnant just because I’ve been sexually active. I honestly don’t believe I can conceive, so why do I have a sense of foreboding while staring at the menstrual products?

“MOM!”

Jensen’s shout rips me from my thoughts, and I hurry back to where he’s hunched over Cole. He’s taken off his shirt and is pressing it against Cole’s face.

“Turn him on his side. Take this,” I give Jensen the towels and grab our pitcher of water out of the fridge. Cole’s face is so swollen, I know he can’t see us. I have to swallow down the bile that is building at how he looks. “I need to see how deep the cuts are. If he needs stitches, we have to take him to the hospital.”

Jensen nods, moving to his knees and wiping Cole’s face gently with towels as I start to pour the water. Cole jerks at the first touch of coldness, a guttural groan twisting my stomach further.

“What happened, dude?”

Cole tries to turn his head toward Jensen, his skin pulling tight as he grimaces. “Ma…client.”

Jensen flashes me an angry look, his fist clenching the towels tighter.

“What does that mean?” I whisper, pouring more water as I lean over to inspect the cut running right through Cole’s eyebrow.

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