Page 19 of The Mission

“I couldn’t help it. My mum said my heart’s always been too big for my chest. When I was a little kid, I wanted to help everyone. My family took care of me, protected me and in a way, they didn’t help me prepare for the real world. I was shocked when I realised how mean people could be. I promised myself I’d never walk away from anyone who needed help. But I knew that night, when I saw you, I had to. For a while at least. Whatever had upset you had nothing to do with me, but I wanted to make you smile again.”

Conrad squeezed Arlo’s fingers. “So you stalked me.”

“I dropped hints to my brother about meeting you and he wouldn’t even tell me your name. I love your name.”

Conrad sighed.

“When I found out why you’d been crying that night, because Rurik eventually gave in and told me what had happened—well not all of it, just that you’d been dumped by a guy who worked at the same place, and he only told me after the whole office knew, Ididleave you alone, but I never forgot you.”

“Mark said he’d dumped me?” Conrad could actually feel his blood pressure surge.

Conrad hadn’t known. He kept his private life—private. He’d not wanted to tell the truth and that had let Mark create his own version.The bloody bastard.But what did it matter? He was better off without him.

“I could see you doing a lot of thinking just then. You told me you found him in bed with Little Arsehole. Why would he tell the office he’d dumped you?”

“Because he’s a control freak.”

“I’ve wasted all this time waiting for you to get over him when I didn’t need to. Three months. I am so…cross.” Arlo frowned.

Conrad smiled. “Maybe I wasn’t ready until we bumped heads. I needed to learn some harsh truths about myself. I’d lost my sense of worth along with my self-respect. I stayed with Mark far longer than I should have. The day he first told me he wasn’t that into me anymore was the day I should have walked away.”

Arlo huffed. “I’m angry with him because he’s an idiot. How could he not be into you? But I’m a bit angry with you as well.”

Conrad couldn’t help laughing at that.

“Even though you were sad when I first saw you, I thought you were gorgeous,” Arlo whispered. “I just hoped you weren’t sick or had something wrong that I couldn’t fix. I didn’t actually stalk you, I promise. I left you alone. I didn’t try to find out where you lived. I didn’t follow you. But I didn’t forget you either, and I hoped that one day maybe we could meet. I will confess I sort of pushed Rurik into suggesting Kitzbühel as a destination to Big Arsehole when I found out there was a company ski trip and you were going.”

“I’d wondered why Mark changed his mind.”

“I just hoped you wouldn’t still be going out with him by the time the trip came round.”

“If I had been?”

“I don’t know what I’d have done. But you weren’t and I still left you alone and hoped. I thought if we sat together on the plane and there was no spark, then we’d walk away from each other and you’d never know what I’d dreamed of, but there was a spark. I knew there would be.” Arlo gave a quiet moan. “Are you creeped out?”

Conrad wasn’t sure what he thought anymore.

“You are, aren’t you?” Arlo whispered. His shoulders fell.

To be wanted for so long… All that time spent being miserable when he could have been happy with Arlo. “I’m not creeped out. I’m thinking you shouldn’t have waited so long but that’s my fault because I didn’t know what Mark had told people. My fault because my head was a mess.”

Arlo shot him a little smile. “Not your fault. Well, not entirely. Rurik told me to give you time and space, and reminded me that I needed that too. Let’s go and sit outside for a while. Away from everyone. Please. They’re staring at us now, wondering what we’ve been talking about for so long.”

Conrad let Arlo pull him down the stairs. Boots and coats were put on along with hats and gloves and he went outside holding Arlo’s hand. They walked through falling snow to a flat area at the side of the house, excavated into the hillside, where there was a large hot tub, a plunge pool and a covered swimming pool. Arlo brushed the snow from two loungers and then tugged Conrad down onto one and he took the other.

“This is all going wrong. You’re too quiet.” Arlo chewed his lip. “Rurik warned me.”

“What did he say?”

“That I suffer from spoilt youngest child syndrome, that I’m too used to getting my own way, that I aways treat everything like a mission, that I think I can sort out everyone’s problems and I’m too single-minded. But not like Tom Cruise. I’ve pushed too hard. I’m sorry.” He gulped. “Rurik said I always go for impossible guys.”

“Such as?”

“Zachary Quinto, Darryl Stephens, Chris Colfer, my ex, now you.”

Conrad chuckled. “I’m not impossible.”

“I really like you.”

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