Page 6 of Hold On

Dominic only realised he’d fallen asleep when he jerked awake and fought a battle with the seat belt as he sat up.

“We’re at a motorway service station,” Theo said. “You want to use the bathroom? Get something to eat? Have a go in the arcade? Win something on the grabber machine?”

“How didWe need to stop because I need to peetransform to all that?” Col asked.

“Multitasking.” Theo climbed out of the car.

Dominic’s nausea had gone but the surge of fear as he walked across the car park with his brother and Theo brought it back. He felt out of place. He looked as if he’d just come out of prison. People would guess. Theo and Col were in skinny jeans and T-shirts that fit, decent trainers, unlike the crappy trainers and shapeless clothes Dominic was in.He could feel himself beginning to sweat.Great.

“Bathroom first, right?” Col said.

Dominic kept his head down and followed them. No way could he use a urinal. He went into a stall and leaned back against the door, trying to control his breathing before he even attempted to take out his cock.

When he emerged, his heart still hammering in his chest, the two were waiting for him. He felt pathetic to be so pleased to see them.

Back in the main concourse with all the eating places and shops, Dominic felt as if the air was pressing in on him. So many people, kids, young women, the different sounds and scents, everything weighed so much, the noise squeezing his skull until it hurt.Don’t fucking panic!

“What do you want to eat?” Col asked.

He could smell the variety of food on offer and was alarmed by the thought of having to choose. He’d dreamed of being able to make decisions and now he couldn’t.

“I’ll get us something, okay?” Col shot him a nervous smile.

Oh God, can he see me freaking out?

“I’ll go back to the car with Dominic,” Theo said. “We’ll eat in there.”

Dominic nodded. He felt better outside, but the world was still bewildering and terrifying.

“Col’s so excited,” Theo said as they walked back. “He’s not been able to sleep because he’s worried about doing the wrong thing or saying the wrong thing. I’m not worried about that because I already know I’ll say and do the wrong thing.”

Dominic smiled.

“I might as well get my apology in now. Sorry when I say something inappropriate. I know it matters what I say, but it doesn’t matter as much to me as it does to Col. If I piss you off, that’s one thing, but Col worships you. He’s desperate that everything works out. He’s spent the entire time you were inside dreaming of this day. I guess you have too.”

They got back into the car and Theo turned in the seat. “Is there anything we can do to help? To make things easier? I have googled extensively, but…”

Dominic thought about it.“Be patient. Don’t try to rush me into anything. It might not seem to you like you’re doing that, but it will to me. Give me space and time on my own. I don’t need to be followed everywhere, or constantly asked if I’m okay. The entire time I’ve been locked up, nothing has been private. I need to find myself again.”If I can.

“I assume you didn’t get the chance to make choices about much.”

“No.” Dominic had left a strictly regulated world for one that needed constant decisions.

“You need clothes and a phone and maybe a laptop. Do you want Col to buy them for you or do you want to buy them with him? It can all be done online. There’s no need to leave the comfort of the couch.”

“You’ll know better about phones and laptops than me. I would like a laptop. But I have no one to phone, so…”

“You have me and Col, and if you’re out somewhere and need help, Col will want you to have a way to contact him. Everyone has a mobile. Almost everyone. As well as making and receiving calls, you can go online, pull up a map and find your way around, watch movies, listen to music, identify which bird is singing, take pictures and videos. You can even use your phone to pay for stuff if you link your bank account. You can use it as a torch, to tell the time, identify stars, get an Uber, find a…date.” Theo sucked in a breath. “You’ve missed so much. The Queen dying. The coronation. Ebola. Covid. Donald Trump.”

Dominic smiled. “I had a TV.”

Theo groaned. “Now I feel an idiot.”

“Well don’t because I’m going to have to learn how to live in this world. It’s a long time since I’ve been in it.”

“You’re a bit like an alien. But a nice one.”

“Am I nice?”

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