Page 109 of Hold On

He’d drawn a picture of a dinosaur protecting its baby against guys with guns.

“We always made cards for each other. They were too expensive to buy.”

“You were good at drawing.”

“Not really. Wow. He kept them all. Oh there are some he made for me too.”

Ren opened one with a reindeer on the front. Inside it saidto the best bruther in the wurld love from Billy xxxx

There were marbles, a pack of dinosaur Top Trumps, a keyring with a Lego figure on it, foreign coins and blue school books.

Dominic frowned. “I thought they’d been thrown away. At the end of the year when Col and I came back with folders of the work we’d done, our parents just chucked everything in the bin. Col must have taken these out.”

He flicked through them. “Oh, these were stories I wrote for Col, putting us into some of the TV shows we watched. Dr Who and Star Trek. Two brothers saving the day.”

“There are photos of the two of you,” Ren said.

“Photobooth.” Dominic smiled. “We tried to do one every year. One picture with us looking sensible and the others messing around.” He laughed when he looked at them.

“You were gorgeous,” Ren said.

“I was spotty, had greasy hair and I seemed to like sticking out my tongue.”

“You look happy. I feel…” Ren choked up and Dominic glanced at him. “I’m pissed off there aren’t more photos of you.”

Dominic visibly shuddered and Ren swallowed hard. “What did I say?” Then he guessed. “They took photos?” he whispered.

“And videos. My lawyer was pleased.” He rubbed his eyes. “I was horrified. As far as the police were able to find out nothing went online, but… Maybe there are videos still out there. At least I don’t look the same.”

“You should never have gone to jail.”

“Maybe if I hadn’t gone crazy with the knife, but…”

Ren put everything back into the box. “There’s nothing bad in there. These are good memories. Col did his best.”

“He did. You’re right. I’ll tell him when I see him.”

“We can make good memories too.”

“We already have. You freaking out at that worm. Me freaking out in the plane. Both of us freaking out when we nearly got caught on that beach.”

Ren mock-glared. “Not justfreaking outmemories. Want to make another?” He ran his fingers up Dominic’s chest.

“What were you thinking of?”

“I want you inside me.”

Ren couldn’t believe he’d said that and judging by Dominic’s imitation of an ice sculpture, neither could he.

“You need to say something,” Ren said.

“Are you sure?”

“Not that. Something like…I’m going to make this perfect for you and if you need to say Cessna then you can say it and I’ll stop. And alsoI’ll go really slowly and I’ll be careful.”

“Of course I will.”

“Because…Levan…hurt me. He messed me up inside.” Ren couldn’t look at Dominic. “His…gun.”

---