Page 67 of Nothing Left To Lose But You

I change the subject. “Will you let the social worker for Rainey’s case know about Dunbar’s call?”

She stares at a spot on the carpet for a while before responding. “Maybe. I haven’t decided yet.”

I try to maintain a neutral expression, but I’m flabbergasted. In the end, it’s her decision.

“I’m going to go hop in the shower before the girls get up,” Noah says, ending my questioning.

“Okay. I’ll get some coffee started. Claire and Rufus invited us to the farm this morning, so we’ll probably be gone most of the day.”

Noah nods before hanging her head and ducking out of my room. Is she embarrassed? Is she upset I’m leaving for most of the day? I want to follow after her and let her know somehow everything is going to be okay, but after worming my way into her room last night, it feels wrong.

Instead of obsessing over how Noah feels or a solution to improve her situation, I get my day started. I’m not fully sure what to expect from the conversation I plan to have with my aunt and uncle today, but I’m overdue to let them know I moved. I just need to decide how much I’m ready to share about Noah.

Chapter 26

Noah

Almostaweek’spassedsince my call with Dunbar, and I haven’t called Chase. I planned to call him Monday morning, but I couldn’t get myself to. Am I making a bigger deal of this than it actually is? Was the end of my phone call with Dunbar my own fault? Rainey’s his daughter. Am I wrong to not emphatically agree to bring her to prison to see her father?

My doubts make calling Chase less obviously the right choice. The longer I wait, the fuzzier the phone call becomes and the more I question my reaction. Maybe it really was unwarranted. My mind entertains doubts I don’t believe. Am I drama seeking? Is my relationship with Dunbar a result of me playing the victim all these years?

Logan and I haven’t talked again about Dunbar, us falling asleep on the floor of my bedroom, or the conversation on his bed. Part of me has been waiting all week for him to ask if I called Chase, but he hasn’t. I’m not sure if I’m disappointed he hasn’t checked back in with me or relieved he’s given me space.

Maggie returned from the family’s farm on Sunday overly excited and bursting to share an invitation for Rainey and me to have Thanksgiving dinner with their family. Logan finally told his aunt and uncle he’d moved in with me. He’d not pried for more information about Dunbar, so I respected his privacy and didn’t ask questions. If he wanted me to know more, he’d tell me.

After bouncing my worrisome questions off of Iz, who insists I’m gaslighting myself and need to stop, I pick up the phone and make the call to Chase on Thursday morning. My heart threatens to beat out of my chest as the line rings. Chase picks up just as I’m ready to hang up, and he has to say hello twice, because my mouth went dry waiting for him to answer.

“Noah, are you there?” I’d forgotten this was his cell phone number, and he must have saved my number as a contact. There’s no going back now.

“Yes. Hi, Chase.”

“Good morning. How have you and Rainey been doing?”

“That’s what I was calling about. Rainey and I are doing okay, but I’m having some trouble with Dunbar.”

His voice drops. “Oh?”

“He’s only called twice since the night I brought Rae home with me. Neither of those calls have gone well.” He waits for me to expound, even though I hoped he might take the conversation from here and ask me questions instead. “Saturday night was the second time I’ve heard from him. At first he asked to talk to Rainey, but she was already asleep. It was almost ten when he called. He wanted me to bring her to the prison to see him. I don’t know how I feel about bringing a six year old to jail. I asked him if I could think about it, maybe float the idea by you. He blew up on me.”

“What do you mean when you say he blew up on you?”

“Well, he started his normal name calling, telling me how entitled I was and how much he hated me for keeping his daughter from him. That’s not what I’m trying to do, by the way.”

“Of course not,” Chase agrees.

“But the scary part was he threatened me. Dunbar said when he gets out of jail he’s going to make me pay for taking Rainey. He said he’ll remind me he’s the one in charge.”

“Did he get specific about how he plans to make you pay?”

“I don’t think so. I was pretty upset, and he continued calling me names, so the end of the call blurs together.”

“Has he ever said anything like this to you in front of Rainey? Name calling or threatening you?”

“Not that I know of. His first reaction when I don’t follow along with what he wants is to prevent me from seeing Rainey. If he has, I wouldn’t know.”

“We can petition the court to prevent him from withholding visits. In Kentucky, child visitation rights for family members are not as clear-cut as other states, but I believe you may have a shot, if it’s something you want to pursue.”

My ignorance of the court and social work system frustrates me. Has Dunbar been using Rainey as bait when I’ve had legal rights to see her all this time?

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