Page 127 of Christmas with the Elkin Billionaires

Jonas tried the door and found it unlocked, a sign the brothers were welcome. Jonas shook off the last of the chill and tried to focus. A quick glance at Gabe told him he wasn’t the only one feeling ill at the prospect of their grandmother’s swift decline. What if this was the last time they had with her?

Jonas pushed the thought out of his head. He’d treat every moment he spent with her as the possible last one. That’s what he should do with everyone just in case something went wrong and the people he loved were ripped out of his life. A new panic seized him—he’d let Rachel and Scott go without saying anything. His fingers itched to text her. But she’d asked for space. He was proving he could give it to her with his silence, though it felt hellish to do it.

Chase got to the bedroom door first and knocked softly. “Gran, are you awake?”

“Come in,” she called right away.

They entered the lamplight glow of her room and found her sitting up in bed, propped up against the upholstered headboard, her hair in its usual elegant chignon. She had a small box with what looked like letters sitting next to her, a cup of tea cradled in her hands, and she looked out toward the sky. “Hello, boys. Have you seen the sky?” She gestured to the expansive window and the brothers turned to look. “Your grandfather called it the ‘blue hour.’ That special time as the sun drops just below the horizon. He used to tell me that it was always prettier up here and I have to agree.”

Jonas leaned over her bed to kiss her cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“Exhausted,” she admitted, her eyes traveling over each of them. There was such sadness there. Jonas pulled up a chair next to the bed. “Have you come to talk?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said, reaching for her hand.

She put the teacup down and took his hand in hers. A silence fell over the room, almost prayerful, and Jonas waited.

“I don’t understand,” she said finally. “I don’t understand how you could have kept this secret, Jonas.”

He felt the weight of her gaze on him and took a deep breath. “When Mom and Dad died, our entire world ground to a halt. We”—he gestured to himself and his brothers—“were struggling with our grief and what we were supposed to do. You and grandfather were there for us. You reminded us that we weren’t alone, we were a family and we would get through it.” Jonas’s throat tightened at the memory, the old feelings welling up again. The devastating loss.

“I knew that with Mom and Dad gone, it would fall to me to run the resort one day and that was something I could do. To repay you for everything you’ve given to us. To me. And then Grandfather died, and the sadness we’d all pushed away came out again and I was hit with this need to protect you.” He kept his voice even, but it was a struggle. “I can’t let it go, this need to protect all of you.” Jonas looked at Gabe and Chase to make sure they knew he included them. “Somewhere along the line, it extended to everything—even unwelcome news. Anything I thought would upset you. I couldn’t stop. Especially now.”

Jonas sucked in a breath, the oxygen flooding his system. He’d finally been honest about the way his parents’ accident had upended him.

“Oh, Jonas,” his grandmother said, clasping his hand with a gentle firmness. “To have lost your parents at such a young age. Your grandfather and I, we thought that the best thing we could do for you was to keep moving forward. To give you guidance and set you up for success. But we didn’t talk about it. We didn’t grieve the way you boys needed to, and I worry that it’s happening again. Sometimes just moving forward isn’t the best thing to do.” Her eyes traveled around to his brothers, then settled back on him. “It can’t go on like this,” she said gently. “No matter what happens to me.”

“She’s right.” Gabe’s voice was thick with emotion. “You can’t do this forever. It’ll take you away from us just like a car accident would.”

The pressure bore down on him again, harder, before it let up. Gabe was right. But then a hand came down on his shoulder, then another, and his family surrounded him.

Chase added, “You have to let go of this worry you carry. The need to be in charge of everything. For the people you love, but also for you. It’s not healthy.”

Jonas held his grandmother’s hand. He found he couldn’t let go. They were all right—of course they were. It was only logical. You couldn’t fall asleep with an aching jaw and tense shoulders for years without knowing on some level that it wasn’t sustainable.

“Jonas,” his grandmother’s voice broke through the introspection. He raised his eyes from where they held hands and looked into her eyes. “I forgive you for not telling me about Rachel and Scott as soon as you found out.”

“Thank you,” he said, getting a full breath of air for the first time in what seemed like years. “Thank you. I love you.”

“I love you, too. I love all of you. And since we are confessing to things, I must admit that I have one as well.” Jonas froze and he could feel his brothers tense behind him. “I’ve known about my cancer diagnosis for some time, but I didn’t want to burden any of you with what was going on.”

Chase and Gabe immediately started talking over each other, but she held up her hand to silence them. “Chase, dear, you were struggling after your accident and in so much pain. And Gabe, you’d built a life for yourself away from Elk Lodge. And you, Jonas.” She squeezed his hand again. “You had shouldered so much. I thought that it would be best not to say anything while I began treatment, but we can all see now that keeping secrets isn’t good for any of us.”

Grandmother nestled back against the pillows. “Now, I think we’ve shared enough for today. Go. I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow.”

“Yes, Gran,” Gabe and Chase told her as they all said their goodbyes.

Crisp air and starry skies guided Jonas’s walk home, helping to clear his mind. The storm had rolled over and disappeared into the night. His misery hadn’t. His grandmother’s forgiveness was a relief, but a deep sadness had settled in him. He’d lost Rachel. And in a horrible Catch-22, the only way to prove his respect for her was to give her the space she wanted.

His home greeted him with a burst of warmth from the front door and another layer of quiet. Unwelcome quiet. It hadn’t been silent when Scott stayed here, and Rachel had her own ways of creating sound, her own patterns on the steps. Jonas closed his eyes and let himself imagine them there one more time. Then he hung up his coat and went in, sitting on the sofa and opening his laptop.

There were always things to check on at the lodge, and he went through his email on autopilot. It was Rachel’s name that stopped him in his tracks. Her name, there with the subject lineExtra Photos.

His heart rocketed up into his throat as he clicked on it, trying to be nonchalant. And failing. Who was he pretending for? He laughed at himself in his empty house. Jonas ran a hand through his hair and braced himself for what might or might not be inside the email.

Jonas,

These were some photos that didn’t make it into the album. Wanted to make sure you had them anyway. Enjoy!

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