Page 21 of Tryst
I search her face sensing something's bothering her—almost certain of what it is. This aloof attitude is a far cry from what we shared last night. So different from any of the other times we have been together. Heart-stopping, sensually soul shattering, is the only way to describe last night.
I won't ask. Best if this ends without drawing it out. “Let’s go then.” I open her door for her and close it firmly when she's in.
The drive back is quiet. A different eerie kind of silence. I haven't let go of her hand the entire drive. I can't bring myself to look at her, knowing what's going to happen the closer we get to the city. Nervous unwanted minutes tick away until we’re a block from her place. A chill washes over me when I stop the car. We sit holding hands on a not-so-busy New York evening. Not as busy as a regular weekday but still with people rushing off to their destinations as we sit not saying a word to each other.
“Jade—”
“Don't you say it.” She shakes her head.
“Say what?”
“The bullshit you're about to unload on me. Our age difference. Our families. All the reasons we shouldn't be together. You're so fucking wrong.” She squeezes my hand and my heart with the emotions in her words.
“You knew this couldn't last. We agreed on what this was. It's time.”
“Things change.” She looks to me eyes welling with tears voice shaking. “I've changed. Don't tell me they haven't changed for you. This weekend is proof.”
“Jade— ”
“No dammit! Don't sit here and tell me last night didn't happen. You asked me if I felt how much you cared for me. I did—I do. Don't do this.” Her tears drop, and I wipe them away. I don't want to see them. Seeing her hurt this way breaks my heart. “I love you. I'm not afraid to say it. I've fallen in love with you, Ian.”
I shake my head and close my eyes. This can't work. She deserves more than this. More than a part-time relationship that started as a fling. With a man old enough to be her father. A man who is not even sure he can love her with as much conviction as she just put into three words.
“It's over, Jade.”
“That's it—just like that. I have no say? What I want doesn't matter? What I'm willing to sacrifice to be with you doesn’t matter?”
That is exactly what I'm afraid of. The things she will sacrifice to be with me. It's too much. “No, it doesn't matter.”
Her bottom lip pulls against her top. She snatches her hand away as I stare straight ahead and she gets out, slamming the door with all her strength. She slams the trunk with so much goddamn force that I feel it rattle down from the roots of my clenched teeth.
I watch her walk away, head held high. Until she disappears down the street with a sparse few people.
Out of reach. Gone.
Monday morning has never beenthis depressing. It's much like my mood. I can feel the heat rising off the pavement with the drizzling rain. I pass the security guard flashing my ID and wave. I don't need to, but protocol and all, everyone else has to do it. My office feels quieter than usual. I've done the same thing every day for years; take my case off my shoulder, pull out papers, and get to work. I get my coffee before everyone comes in. Except for when Jade came. She would arrive ten minutes after me, coffee in hand, shiny black hair about her shoulders, looking as fresh and bright as the summer day shining through my windows. For the next hour, she'd be mine. No one knows but us what we did in here.
Nobody heard how she whispered against my ear, telling me what she wanted as I hiked up her skirt. Nobody saw her ass pressed against my desk as I rode her over and over again, her hands clutching me tightly. As her moans came hoarse and strained in the quiet of the room, and my release exploded into her. Always heaven.
Until today.
Four hours after the obligatorygood morning, in which she didn't even look at me, we haven't said a word. She's hurt, but this is best for her.
I don't want to hurt her any more than necessary, so I ask Jenny to do things I would normally have Jade do, but I leave my door open longer than usual to get a glimpse of her.
Around midday, Gary passes by her desk and she smiles for the first time today. I hate it. He stands by her desk smiling at her then touches her hand. She puts her bag on her shoulder, about to leave. She never goes with that guy. I don't want her hanging out with him because she knows as well as I do he wants nothing more than to take her to bed, or where ever else he can get her naked. It pisses me off to see his hands on her. She knows how I feel about him. The guy her age.
I walk out to the door with a stack of papers in my hand. “Going somewhere, Ms. Hollister?” I glance at Gary, angry as hell.
She stands with her shoulders squared staring at me like a soldier. “I am. Is there something you need?”
Yes!For you not to leave with him.“I need these entered into the computer.”
“I will have them done first thing after I come back from lunch. If that's okay with you? I am entitled to lunch, right?”
“That'll be fine.”No, you're not entitled to lunch if it's with Gary.I bite the inside of my cheek to keep from saying that out loud.
“I'm ready.” She pulls the papers from my hand sharply dropping them on her desk. She turns to Gary and takes his hand. “Let's go.”
