Page 10 of The Rancher's Secret Son

Wide-eyed, she looked up. “What?”

“You’re the mother of my child, Claire. We have a tie now for the rest of our lives. Even though I can’t help being angry, I’m far more thrilled and grateful. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you, but that was your choosing. One thing is important for me to say. Thank you. Even though it’s completely inadequate.”

Wrapping his arms around her, he hugged her to him. “Thank you,” he said again, his words muffled this time. She was warm, soft in his arms. It was suddenly so good to hold her. “Thank you,” he repeated, a knot in his throat. They stood in silence a moment until he felt tears on his neck and leaned away.

He stroked the moisture away with his fingers. “Why are you crying?”

“Don’t take him from me, Nick,” she whispered, her eyes shut tightly as she wiped at her cheeks. “I know you’ll want him in your life. Your parents will, too, after they meet him.”

Nick folded her into his embrace again and held her close. He wasn’t making any promises because he didn’t know what demands she would have. He framed her face with his hands. “I don’t know what we’ll work out, but I will never take him totally away from you. That would be harming my own child.”

Nodding, she moved away, turning her back to dry her eyes, and he wondered whether she even believed what he said.

“Let’s see his pictures,” Nick said. He sat beside her on the sofa and she gave him the iPad. He pulled up photos and she tapped one.

“We’ll start when he was a tiny baby. This is in the hospital.”

“Send these to me, all of them. Oh, hell, why didn’t you let me know?” he asked, hurting as he looked at a sleeping newborn with a blue cap on his head.

“I’ve already given you all my reasons. But let me ask you this. Would you have felt the same about Cody then?”

He gazed into her dark eyes and thought about what she’d asked. “I might not have felt this way right after getting married, and you’re right. Karen probably would not have taken the news well, but I still think you should have told me. I missed this. Especially after losing Karen and the baby. I missed these years,” he said, looking down at the date Claire had written on a picture of her and Cody as they left the hospital.

“Claire, this date—” He frowned. “I wasn’t engaged when you found out you were pregnant. Not if you carried Cody nine months.”

She raised her chin, gazing at him with a defiant expression. “I was shocked when I found out I was pregnant. I needed time to figure out my future and adjust to the realization I was going to have a baby. I had to tell my family. I was trying to plan what I would do when I heard you were engaged.”

“It was early enough I might not have married Karen,” he said, wondering what he would have done.

Claire rubbed her forehead. “We had already had that terrible breakup. I don’t see how we could have gotten back together.”

“True,” he said, staring into space, thinking about that time in his life. He glanced at the iPad on his knee. “Let’s get back to the pictures,” he said, turning to the next one, another of her leaving the hospital, carrying a small bundle in her arms. Cody was so wrapped in blankets he was not visible. In the next picture the blankets were peeled back so his face showed. He was sleeping and looked wonderful to Nick. “I’ve been cheated of having these years together with two of my babies,” he said, anger surfacing again.

Nick looked at pictures of Cody in a baby bed, of him being held in Claire’s arms and then being held by each member of her family. He looked at his son’s nursery room with Winnie-the-Pooh characters painted on the wall.

“You weren’t ever going to tell me about him, were you?” Even though he kept his voice quiet, Nick’s anger escalated, wondering if he could ever be with her again without feeling anger over keeping his son from him. Would he ever trust her in anything?

“I knew I had to eventually. Cody would get bigger and want to know about his dad. I couldn’t avoid it forever, but as time passed, it just got easier to let it go,” she said quietly.

Nick held back an angry reply and looked at the next group of pictures as Cody grew and had his first birthday. Nick felt another pang of longing. “Where was his first birthday?”

“At my grandparents’. Now they live in my house. I had a home built and moved Grandma in with me.”

They bent over each picture with Claire telling him about the incident when the picture was taken. He laughed as he looked at a picture of Cody with chocolate cake all over his small hands and across his face.

“This is great,” Nick said, more to himself than her. “He looks as if he loves the cake and is having a wonderful time.”

“He did. That was the first time he ever tasted chocolate. He still doesn’t get any candy.”

Nick turned to look at her. “With you and your grandparents hovering over him, and your mother, too, this first year, he was probably a very well cared for baby and a very happy one.”

He turned his attention back to the pictures. In the next one Claire was in a swimsuit, holding Cody’s hands as he waded in the shallow end of a large swimming pool.

“Whose pool is this?”

“A friend’s. I don’t want a pool while Cody is little, although he does actually know how to paddle across the pool and climb out, which is an enormous relief. It doesn’t mean I don’t watch him, but it’s good to know that he can swim out if he falls in.”

Nick’s attention shifted from Cody to Claire’s picture in a deep blue one-piece suit. “You don’t look as if you’ve had a baby,” he said, thinking she looked great. His gaze ran over the picture as he looked at her long, shapely legs, her tiny waist and full, luscious curves. He felt it again. Desire. Claire was making him come alive again, reminding him what it felt like to know lust. He glanced her way and suddenly felt the heat emanating from her body as she sat so close beside him. He wanted to hold her. But he knew he couldn’t. Not now. With an effort he kept his hands to himself and focused again on the pictures.

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