Page 45 of In Bed with the Rancher

“No, I won’t. I haven’t competed in a rodeo for several years. But I like to watch them.” He looked down at her plate. “You’re not eating. Is something wrong?”

She knew this was the time to tell him. “Let’s go inside to talk. I’ll get these dishes later.”

“I can help right now and we’ll be through in no time,” he said, carrying their dishes to the sink.

She caught his wrist. “C’mon. Let’s talk.”

They walked into her family room, a room with lots of big windows that let in the east light and gave a view of her flowerbeds filled with roses that still bloomed.

She sat on the sofa and he sat facing her. “What’s the problem, Ava?”

She hoped she could get through this without getting emotional. “Wade, it’s been wonderful with you. I’ve enjoyed every minute. But this is one of those good things that has to come to an end. I don’t want to get hurt again and this time I think I might get hurt worse than I did by my ex-fiancé.”

“This is because of my views of marriage and children, isn’t it?” he asked, looking intently at her.

“Yes, it is. You don’t want marriage and you don’t ever want kids. You’re very firm about that.”

“Yes, I am. I blame Wynn for Dad’s heart problems. He’s worried our dad to pieces.”

“I imagine you feel more strongly about it after today and your dad being in the hospital for his heart.”

“As a matter of fact, yes, I do,” he said, looking somber.

“On the other hand, I want to marry and I want kids. I think I need to say goodbye and get out of your life now before I’m hopelessly in love with you and have to say these words and hurt way more. This isn’t something where we can reach an easy compromise.”

“No, it sure as hell is not.” They gazed at each other in silence for minutes and she hurt more than she had thought she would. She stood to move away from him and his dark eyes that seemed to look right through her. She fought back tears and waited to talk until she could get her emotions under control.

She turned to face him. “I think we need to stop seeing each other completely. I can’t take intimacy lightly. I’ve said what I need to say and tonight has to be goodbye.” Clenching her teeth, she fought back tears.

He stood looking at her and after a moment he nodded. “I don’t want to tell you goodbye, but I don’t want to hurt you, either. I didn’t want to hurt you this much.”

“You let me know how you felt. I went out with you, anyway, so that’s on me.”

He said nothing for a moment, his eyes downcast, then slowly nodded his head. “I don’t like it and I don’t want to say goodbye, but I understand.” His eyes met hers and she saw the anguish there that matched her own.

She watched as he turned to walk to the front door. Struggling more than ever to hold back tears, she went to the door right behind him. He opened the door, then turned to face her and he frowned.

“You’ve been wonderful and I’ve hurt you. I never wanted to do that.”

“I know you didn’t,” she said. “It’s no one’s fault, Wade. We’re just poles apart in our views of love and marriage and kids.”

“We damn sure are, so this is best,” he said gruffly. A muscle worked in his jaw and he looked tense. “You’ve seen my brother in action, so I hope you can understand where I’m coming from.”

“Wade, I’ll never understand. Family is the best part of life—love of a spouse, children, relatives. That’s what I want with all my heart and I can’t imagine deliberately cutting yourself out of a lifetime of joy just because of escapades by your twin. If you married, you’re different from your dad. The woman you marry will be different from your mom. Any kids you have will have different influences in their lives. I know he’s given your dad, your siblings and you grief, but that doesn’t mean any child you would have would ever be like your twin.” She looked away, clenching her fists because he’d made this a protracted goodbye and she couldn’t hold back her tears. They spilled down her cheeks.

“Dammit, I’ve made you cry and that I never wanted to do.” He reached out and cupped her face, wiping her tears with his thumbs. “I wish this wasn’t goodbye, but you’re a beautiful, sexy, smart woman and I know you’ll get over me.”

Would she? Right now she doubted it. He was a good man, accomplished, caring, so handsome and sexy. She knew now she should have walked away sooner before she got hurt. Before she fell in love.

Once again, she tried to get a grip on her emotions. She shouldn’t be feeling emotional over him. There had never been a declaration of love. They hadn’t even known each other well enough or long enough to be deeply in love. She had to wipe away her tears and stand strong.

He tilted her face and looked at her. “I don’t want it to be, but I guess this is goodbye,” he said gruffly. He ran his fingers lightly on her cheek and lifted locks of her long hair away from her face. “You’ve been special,” he said. “If you change your mind about the ranch or going out with me or just want to talk, you know how to reach me.”

“I know.” She brushed a kiss on his cheek and was going to turn and step away.

Instead his arm circled her waist and he held her tightly against him, putting his other arm around her and leaning over her, and he kissed her hard. A possessive, hot kiss that she knew she would remember forever. She shook in his arms and then she lost awareness of everything except his kiss, his mouth and tongue, his arms around her holding her tightly. While her heart pounded, she forgot all their problems because she was lost in the sexiest kiss of her life.

Finally he released her, both of them gasping for breath as they stared at each other.

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