Page 54 of The Holy Academy of Witches

“They are all content. Professor Hershaw in particular sings your praises. Gods knows why!” She laughed, a cold crack in the silence, “I assume you smother her in admiration and flattery for her to speak so highly of you. Nevertheless, you are still the top student in their estimations so I should be thankful you take after me in at least that respect.” She sat down in her seat, angling her chair back towards her work, her fingers inching towards her pen. Breaking eye contact, she looked at the papers in front of her, a signal for me to leave.

I crossed the room, my shoes clicking against the polished floor as I neared the door. Her voice, quiet as a breath, had me pausing, my hand on the golden door handle. “Whatever it is that you spend your evenings doing… I will presume it is related to assignments and therefore does not need looking into.” My palms grew slick against the cool metal in my hand. “Understood?”

I swallowed, with effort, staring at the grain of the door inches from my face, “Yes, mother.” I opened the door, closing it quietly behind me, without looking back.

I closed my eyes, back pressed against the door, wishing I was anywhere else,anyoneelse.

* * *

Teddy: You up?

Adeline: Actually, yes. Everything OK?

Teddy: Just a shitty day. Been for a run but it didn’t help.

I didn’t know who else to text…

I refused to examine why a tiny thrill went through me at the idea of him thinking about me late at night.

Adeline: I went for a run earlier on. It didn’t help me either. Now I’m in bed… not sleeping x

Teddy: We could talk for a while?

Adeline: OK x

Teddy: So, I know you like running… anything else?

Adeline: I’m quite adept at music. Why was your day shit? x

Teddy: is “quite adept at music” code for: shit hot singer?

Today is a day I don’t have great memories of that’s all. And I can’t do the thing I normally would when I feel like this, so… yeah. Not a good day

Adeline: Absolutely not! I’m a terrible singer! But don’t tell anyone that or I’ll be forced to murder you. I can play a few musical instruments, that’s all.

I know the feeling… about a day that holds bad memories for you. I’m sorry, Teddy. x

Teddy: Hold up! A “few” musical instruments?? Like good? Or… What are they?? I’m a pretty awesome drummer.

I’m sorry you’ve got shit like that too… it sucks.

I had a best friend… he was more like a brother really. Always round at the house. We went to every school together, on the same football team… We were inseparable…

He died a year ago. It was sudden. I didn’t deal with it very well. I guess I’m still not.

Adeline: I play six instruments, and before you ask, they are: piano, violin, harp, guitar, cello and drums. Proficiency in that order.

I…

I paused typing. I had never spoken about this before. My parents didn’t talk about it… I missed her everyday but I wasn’t allowed to talk about her. The only sign she existed at all was the utterly broken family left behind.

Adeline: I had a sister. I don’t any more. None of us talk about it. I don’t think there is a “right” way to deal with someone you love dying. They leave you and it hurts and you feel angry, sad, guilty in equal measure. Whatever you have to do to deal with that is what you have to do and that’s fine. People might not understand it but they don’t need to. I do…

Teddy: Wow, Addie. That’s impressive as hell. Why aren’t you shouting about it from the rooftops?

I’m really sorry about your sister Addie. If you ever want to talk about her to me you can. What was her name?

I usually fight when I feel like this… When it feels like I’m drowning. But I haven’t found an mma gym close by yet and the other option isn’t really an option.

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