Page 50 of Fighting for Control

“Nothing.” Lola turned. “I have to go to the bathroom. We’ll talk about the suit some other time.”

When the elevator arrived to take them down to Carmen’s car, Lola walked away. Ignoring Carmen shouting her name, Lola’s vision blurred as she charged toward the bathroom. Mortification coursed through her veins, pulse thundering in her ears and obscuring her hearing.

She’d made a complete fool of herself in front of Carmen. Only this time, it wasn’t from unbridled passion or a biting insult. No, she’d simply revealed herself to be utterly unsophisticated. An imposter in a world she was desperately trying to navigate. One where Carmen effortlessly belonged.

Pushing open the bathroom door, Lola stumbled into a stall and dropped onto the toilet to catch her breath. Cringing with her entire body, she replayed the moment she’d gulped down the finger bowl water like a drink. She hadn’t even questioned it.

Covering her face with her hands, Lola tried to pull herself together. Why had Carmen covered for her, matching her mistake rather than embarrassing her? Was she laughing at her now? Sitting in her car playing the moment back like a blooper reel?

Lola was teetering on the verge of a panic attack when her phone buzzed in her hand. An unknown number: I don’t really want to leave without you. Are you feeling sick?

Carmen’s text only made her feel worse. She tried to summon up some anger. Just enough to get her through the night, but she couldn’t be mad at her. She couldn’t even find the will to call her fake.

When her racing pulse had downgraded from a hurricane to a tropical storm, Lola called a ride to take her back to her car. For a terrifying second, she wondered if Carmen might be waiting for her in the garage, but she exhaled again once she realized her car was the last one in the building. Even all the cleaning crews were gone.

Sitting in her car, Lola revisited the moment over and over until she reshaped it into something she could swallow. So what if she hadn’t grown up going to five-star restaurants like Carmen probably had? How well would Carmen have adapted if their situations were reversed?

Lola had gotten this far on her own terms, and she refused to feel ashamed. Squaring her shoulders like she was staring down an opponent in the ring, Lola straightened. She wouldn’t let something so small shake her confidence. Wouldn’t let Carmen make her feel inferior.

Lola had as much right to be in exclusive spaces as anyone. She’d earned her place at the table through talent and ambition. That’s what mattered. It was so easy to take what was handed. But taking what was guarded, that was the real test.

Letting the uselessness of shame roll off her back, Lola started for home. She had too much to do to waste time thinking about a prissy lawyer. She had real work. Real responsibilities.

Walking into her apartment twenty minutes later, Lola had managed to curb the relentless stream of thoughts. Much like the time her brother had stolen her theater teacher’s car in tenth grade, Lola pushed things aside to make room for what was important.

By the time she got out of the shower and plopped across her bed with her hair wrapped in a towel, she almost felt like herself again. And then she looked at her phone.

Carmen’s message was still sitting there. Annoyed, Lola snatched up the phone and shot off a text. I’m fine. Already home.

Carmen:Oh, good. I was worried.

Gritting her teeth, Lola started and deleted half a dozen messages, looking for the exact right way to tell Carmen off. To reestablish their normal dynamic.

Carmen:I’ve been deep-diving into Redpine for the last hour. Apparently, it used to be a Gold Rush town called Prospector’s Promise. A little on the nose, but whatever. It became a ghost town in the 1860s. People reported so many hauntings and weird shit that they leveled the town in the 1950s and renamed it Redpine. Now it’s a “paradise for nature enthusiasts with breathtaking rivers, lakes, and waterfalls.” Kind of remote. No other town around for hundreds of miles. Perfect place to separate people from their friends and family.

Lola:And money.

Carmen:Bingo.

Carmen:And I mean… look at these pictures. It looks incredible.

Before Lola could tell her she didn’t want to see any freaking pictures, didn’t want to talk to her at all, Carmen was blowing up her phone. Each image she sent was more beautiful than the last.

Carmen:I hate to admit that I’d 1000000000% sign up for one of their retreats. Massages. Nutrient-rich mud baths. NO CELL PHONE OR INTERNET SERVICE. Take me away, crazy ass Fortune!

A laugh rumbled in Lola’s chest unbidden. She rolled onto her back, her towel falling open as she texted.

Lola:I shouldn’t be surprised. Would you go with the nice man in the van offering you candy in exchange for helping him find his lost Goldendoodle?

She’d meant it as a dig and was expecting Carmen to shoot one back, but instead, she got an unexpectedLOLas a reply.

Carmen:Getting abducted by a cult might be the only way I get a vacation. So like… maybe not the worst thing I can imagine.

She wanted to commiserate. To admit that she hadn’t been on a trip that was not either school or work related in her life. To confess that since she started working at Dominion, she’d never even taken a day off. But it sounded so pathetic, she didn’t dare.

Lola:Maybe if you tell Barry to go fuck himself again, they’ll put you on some kind of administrative leave.

Carmen:Ugh. Barry. I have to cover a hearing for him next week. I should probably get to sleep. If I’m going to do his work and mine, I’ll have to wake up even earlier than I already do.

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