Page 119 of Brittle Heart

“I don’t think Joshua would—”

Cindy interrupts again. “All men would. If you give him what he wants too easily, he won’t put in the effort. So, make sure he goes down on you first before you do anything for him. Clear?”

I can’t help but smirk. “Yes, ma’am. But you did say I should give him my V-card. Isn’t that also giving him what he wants too easily?”

She laughs. “Fuck that! Losing your V-card is about you, not him. If you were sixteen, I’d say yes, it’s too soon. But you’re twenty-two, and if you want to get it over with, he’s a great candidate for it. Even if it’s going to be bad, and trust me, it probably will be, you can look back at it and be proud for tapping that.”

I laugh, and she smiles before taking another sip from the bottle.

“It will be bad?” I ask, feeling a bit vulnerable.

“Yeah, it might hurt for a bit, but if he cares for you beforehand, it won’t last long. But let’s be real, I’ve never heard any girl say their first time was good. You can only hope it won’t be terrible.”

“Wow, you’re selling this, huh?” I say.

She smiles, “But the second time will be nice, the third time will be good, and after the fourth, you’ll never want to stop again. To get there, you have to get it over with.”

“And how do I start?” I ask, looking down at my hands in my lap.

“Girl, you go over there, get in bed with him, and take his dick in your hands. The rest will follow on its own.”

“Really? Just like that?”

“Just like that. And if, by some miracle, he doesn’t get the hint, just tell him, ‘I want you. Please make me yours.’ That shit drives men crazy,” she says, and I raise an eyebrow. “You could also just say, ‘Take me’ or ‘Fuck me,’ but I don’t think you’re bold enough for that yet. But we’ll get there,” she adds with a wink.

I think about it for a minute, and she’s right. I want to sleep with Joshua. I want to have this with him. I’m ready. Fuck it, I’ve been ready for years. I just waited for him.

I take the bottle of tequila from her hand, take a sip, and cough a little before saying, “Wish me luck.” I stand and head to the locker to get my stuff.

“Get it, girl!” she yells enthusiastically after me.

CHAPTERFORTY-SEVEN

Carolina

In front of Sophia’s and Joshua’s houses, I wait nervously before the door that leads to Joshua’s side. I look down at my phone, checking the message I just sent him.

Open the door for me?

I know I took a risk coming here after one in the morning, and there’s a chance he might already be asleep. But I had to try. If he doesn’t answer, I can always go back home.

Suddenly, the door opens, and Joshua appears with wide eyes. He’s already dressed in navy sleeping pants and a white T-shirt.

“Carolina, what are you—” He starts to say, but I grab his shirt collar, pulling him down for a kiss.

He catches on immediately and tugs me inside, closing the door behind us. Then he presses my back against it, cupping my head in his hands, and we kiss even deeper.

“Fuck, I missed you,” he whispers before diving back into kissing me.

I drop my backpack, and he helps slide my jacket off as I kick off my shoes, eager to get our clothes off.

“Upstairs?” I pant, not wanting to risk anyone finding us, and he takes my hand, leading me to his room.

As soon as we’re inside, he closes the door. Not wanting to waste any time, I head straight to his bed and pull back the covers, getting under them and motioning for him to join me.

He rushes over and nearly trips over his feet before he climbs in, and as soon as he’s close enough, I pull him in for another kiss. He groans against my lips, and my hand slips under his shirt, feeling his lean and muscular body—a swimmer’s body, I realize. He’s incredibly sexy, and I let my nails gently stroke down his back, causing him to break the kiss and groan again.

“I went to the bar, but it was already closed,” he says, kissing down my neck. “I just got home. I’m fucking glad you’re here. I needed to see you so bad,” he confesses, his mouth moving to my ear and biting my lobe.

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