Page 118 of Brittle Heart

Until I finish college, there’s no way I could get custody of Chiara. I could save up the money and try again once I’ve graduated and started my job at the NYPD, but there’s no guarantee. I can’t risk losing her just because I have to withstand my life for a little while longer.

So, I maneuver past him and the shelf, heading toward my backpack. “Thank you,” I say, slipping on my jacket and making my way to the door.

As I walk away, the weight of his gaze is heavy on my back. I swing my backpack over my shoulder and reach for the doorknob. A part of me wants to turn back, to unload the burden that’s been crushing me, but the risk is too high. Chiara is all that matters, and I can’t afford to jeopardize her safety.

Once outside, the chill of the evening breeze sweeps over me. I pull the hood of my hoodie up, the echo of Xander’s words ringing in my ears, the offer of help, the shared experience, the promise of safety.

It’s tempting,ohso tempting.

But I can’t, I remind myself. I have to endure to push through.

For Chiara.

Taking a deep breath, I make my way to the bar. Tomorrow is another day, another fight. But for now, I just need to keep moving.

Keep surviving.

Just like I always have.

CHAPTERFORTY-SIX

Carolina

The bar is unusually slow for a Saturday night, and here I am, cleaning up the tables shortly after midnight.

Cindy comes up beside me and starts pestering me. “So, spill the beans about the cop you kissed last week! I’ve been waiting for you to tell me, but I’m getting impatient.” I sigh, showing no interest in sharing. “Come on, Carolina, don’t be so cold. I always talk to you about Donny. Is it time? Did you finally get yourself a boyfriend?”

I raise an eyebrow and ask, “How do you even know we kissed?”

She just shrugs. “Matteo mentioned something like that.”

“Something like that?” I stop cleaning and look at her.

“He said the cop tried to force himself on you, but we both know you would’ve punched him in the privates if he had.” I can’t help but chuckle. It’s getting harder and harder to keep up my bored mask every day when I am so fucking happy. Cindy teases further. “So, is he your boyfriend?”

I bite my lip, feeling like bragging a little. “Yes, he is.”

“Oh my God, Carolina,” Cindy exclaims, grabbing my arms and hopping with excitement. “I’m so happy for you! He’s such a hottie, like one of those K-pop singers. I bet he’s amazing in bed. Did you lose your V-card to him? You won’t find anyone better if you haven’t.”

I’m taken aback by her seemingly genuine happiness for me. Our friendship is more of a like-hate thing, mostly because I can’t stand her most of the time, but I appreciate not having to be alone here in this dump of a place.

“Ladies, looks like it’s an early night tonight,” Donny announces, opening the kitchen door and winking at Cindy, who giggles.

If anyone knows her way around sex, it’s definitely her. Maybe she can help?

I clear my throat. “No, I haven’t lost my V-card to him, but I want to. I’m just unsure how and—”

Cindy interrupts. “We need to sit down for this.” She grabs a bottle of tequila from the bar and pulls me to a table to sit.

Offering me the bottle, I decline, still feeling the last hangover. She takes a sip herself and says, “What do you need to know? I’m an open book.”

“Well, I think I should start by giving him head, but…”

Cindy cuts me off immediately, “Nope, we’re not going to do this, Carolina. Did he go down on you?”

“Not yet,” I admit.

“He needs to be the first to give head, or else you’ll end up just sucking his dick for years without getting anything in return,” she says.

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