Page 114 of Brittle Heart

I hold her closer. “I will always come for you,” I promise, feeling a tingle in my chest as our eyes lock. “Fuck, kitten, I think I—”

“Don’t say it.” She stops me. “Let’s just lay here and tune the rest of the world out for a while.”

“I can do that,” I say, disappointed but willing to put away my feelings.

For now.

CHAPTERFORTY-FOUR

Carolina

“Chiara, no,” I say firmly, grabbing my backpack and heading toward the door to leave the apartment.

She had already bugged me about the same thing yesterday, and it was even more annoying then. My patience was already thin, thanks to the headache that made it even harder to deal with her. Somehow, I managed to drag myself to work, even with my head still pounding like a drum. The guys came over to take us to dinner and Joshua was being his usual adorable self, so I think we really are good again. Clay, on the other hand, was surprisingly quiet. He didn't say anything, but that smirk of his spoke volumes.

“Please, Lina,” Chiara pleads again, making puppy dog eyes at me.

“You can make him a present instead. Remember those pretty bracelets you made for Monica and me last year? That’s cute, and he’s so in love with you, he’d gladly wear something you made,” I suggest.

“No, I can’t do that. It’s childish,” she protests.

“I don’t think so. In fact, I’m planning to make some of those bracelets for my new friends too, because I can’t afford to buy them Christmas gifts either. Remember, it’s the thought that counts. And I just don’t have a hundred dollars for you to buy him that skateboard. Besides, it’s winter,piccola,” I reason with her.

“But I love him, and he always gives me gifts. I think he’ll get me something big too,” Chiara says with a pout.

“Then be grateful and say thank you. Maybe you can give him a massage or something. Show your affection in ways other than buying stuff,” I suggest as we walk out of the building to the subway station.

“You don’t understand, Lina! You’ve never had a boyfriend before!” Chiara nearly yells.

“I have one now,” I say, stopping to look at her.

“And don’t think I haven’t noticed that new phone he got you. You lectured me about not letting a man buy me things, not letting Leo get me a new phone, but he can buy you one?” she accuses.

“This is different, Chiara,” I say, trying to explain.

“Oh, of course, because it’s you, right? You do whatever you want, and I have to follow your stupid principles that you don’t even follow yourself,” she snaps.

“Chiara,è abbastanza,” I hiss.

“But let’s see how your boyfriend likes your little bracelet in exchange for that fancy phone. I bet he’ll love it and won’t look for someone else who can buy him things. Oh, wait, you’ll just give him a massage, won’t you? Because I bet he’s not even getting sex from you,” she spits out before storming off.

I stand there, completely shocked and with my mouth open.

What just happened?

* * *

“Here,” Joshua says, placing a bottle of water in front of me as he sits next to me at our usual table in the cafeteria, bringing me out of my thoughts. The day went by fast, but I couldn’t stop thinking about what Chiara said and what Clay told me.

I believe there is no price tag on that phone. Joshua genuinely wanted to have a way to keep in contact with me, and I understand why it’s important for our relationship that he be able to reach me over the phone when I am working all the time.

But Chiara was right too. I have nothing to give him in return. I feel like such a mess with all my problems, insecurities, inexperience, and overwhelming workload.

I glance over at Joshua, and he smiles. “Thank you,” I say, and he leans in, kissing my cheek.

He’s perfect. The kindest person I’ve ever met—honest, funny, and incredibly attractive.And what have I to offer?

Chiara’s words echo again in my mind.I bet he’s not even getting sex from you.She’s only sixteen, for fuck’s sake, and she knows nothing.But do I?

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