Page 101 of Stepping Up to the Plate

“Right now, you’re in the middle of the tunnel. There is a light at both ends. You have to make the choices that will get you to the other side and not take you back. At this exact moment in time, I think you’re paralyzed in the middle. You’re so stuck ‘overcoming’ your past, it’s hampering your future.

“Focus on making moves for the life and achievements you want rather than proving to whoever it is that you are a better version of yourself. If they can’t see the growth and changes you’ve made, then they aren’t worth your time. Make decisions that take you where you want to go and leave behind anything that doesn’t serve you.”

Lynn lets her words sink in before giving me homework for the next session. First, I must determine who I am trying to prove myself to. Then I have to consider all the ways I don’t need to prove myself and how it wouldn’t matter to them, anyway. Doubters will alway doubt. Haters will alway hate.

Second, I am supposed to write down my decisions in a day and determine which ones move me forward, hold me back, or keep me stagnant. From there we will determine my next steps.

* * *

The next morning starts off rough. I wake up later than I want and am running around trying to get ready for an interview. The outfit I wanted to wear was wrinkled, and I burned my hand on my curling wand.

I'm meeting with the Lavignes at their winery. Which is a ways out of town. The new classes they offer caught the eye of my editor and she was thrilled to learn I have a personal connection to the owners. She wants me to do a profile on the fall/holiday activities they have in addition to their formal event capabilities.

With a long drive ahead, I know I won’t get there in a happy mood if I don’t have caffeine. My mind shifts to the last time I went there with Brady but I quickly shut that down. I rush into the kitchen to make my latte. When I go to grab my syrup, it is empty. Tiffany enters the kitchen at the perfect moment to witness my breakdown.

“You okay, Bunny?” she asks.

“No,” I lament on the verge of tears. “I’m out of my syrups. I checked the website last week but I couldn’t figure out how to buy more. I think they stopped selling them.”

I am not proud how close to crying I am right now, but it is happening nonetheless. I have been extra sensitive and raw lately as I am processing everything with Lynn. I also am probably about to start my period but regardless of those facts, this feels like at least a DEFCON-3 situation.

“It’s okay, Lo,” Tiffany coos, trying to comfort me. “Leave the bottle on the counter and I will take care of it. I’m sure I can call someone and get it sorted out.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” she replies. “I’ll place an online order for you at Starbucks before you hop on the interstate. I know it’s not ideal but at least you can get some caffeine in your veins. Doesn’t a PSL sound good?”

“I guess,” I grumble.

“Good! Now get out of here so you can make it to your interview.”

Following Tiffany’s instructions, I pick up my latte and make it to the winery with two minutes to spare. I listened to my favorite playlist on the way which helps center me after the chaotic morning. As soon as I step out, I meet who I assume is one of the owners. This guy is extremely attractive. I’m not usually into blonds, but I can see the appeal. His dark blond hair is cropped short and his golden skin glimmers in the mid-morning sun.

“Hey, I’m Marc. Are you Lola?” he asks.

“Hi. Yes, I am Lola. It is nice to meet you, though I thought I was supposed to meet Josh?”

“You were,” he supplies. “He’s my brother. He had to put out a fire in our bottling facility.”

“Oh my God! Should we wait for the fire department?”

“What?” He questions confused before understanding crosses his face. “Sorry, that was hyperbole. Figurative fire, not literal. He will join us a little later. I handle all the sales and business development for the winery, so he asked me to take over while he deals with the mess. You’re in good hands. My tour will be more interesting, anyway. You’ll get more story and fewer nuts and bolts. Shall we start in the main tasting room?”

“Sounds great,” I reply.

“You said Josh is your brother. Does that make Emerly your sister?”

“It does,” he says with a smile. “I didn’t realize you’d met our little Bubbles.”

“Bubbles? Yes, I met her when I came to goat yoga a few months ago and my cousin worked with her to plan her wedding here.”

“Oof, don’t tell her I told you that nickname. I’d never hear the end of it. It’s something we’ve called her since she was young. She was always bubbly and personable. She’s five and six years younger than Josh and I, respectively. It’s hard to view her as anything other than our baby sister.”

“I get that. The three of you run the winery together?” I ask.

“Along with our cousins. The three of us are more on the business side while they do the actual winemaking since they grew up with our grandparents. As I mentioned, I handle the sales while Josh manages the day-to-day operations. Emerly, as you know, handles our marketing and events. Penny tends to the grapes and the grounds. Payton is our Vigneron and oversees every batch of wine we make. He trained in France with some of the top winemakers in the world.”

Marc goes on to tell the heart-wrenching story of how he, his siblings, and cousins found themselves managing the winery after the death of their grandparents. After answering some of my questions, he gives me a tour and as promised, Josh joins us. They show me the process from start to finish and even let me take home wine I bottle myself.

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