Page 7 of Stepping Up to the Plate

My cheeks heat, embarrassed. “Actually, nothing happened that night. Phil wanted to watch the end of the baseball game and told me I should go to sleep without him.”

“What?” She shoots up, affronted on my behalf. “He saw you in that tiny nightie with all the candles and didn’t jump your bones? What is wrong with him?”

“I don’t know. He’s been stressed and working a lot of late nights. He’s been traveling to meet clients, which is new. His job is getting to him. We haven’t been intimate in a while. I thought that night could rekindle some romance, but maybe I’m doing something wrong.”

“Babe, I was tempted by that set up and I am firmly team peen. Phil should be worshiping at your feet. You are a goddess.”

“It isn’t only my relationship that is weighing on me. I don’t know how my life got to where it is. I’m living the life society and other people think Ishouldand not one that brings me joy. I’m not who I want to be.”

“And who is that?”

“I don’t know,” I sigh sadly.

“Don’t worry, Bunny. We’ll help you figure it out.”

ChapterThree

• LOLA •

December

Weeks go by, a month, two and my life is no better than it was when I was in Miami. Even worse, Phil has been acting increasingly distant and disinterested. It all came to a head at Thanksgiving. Typically, we spend the day with my Aunt Teresa and my dad joins if he can. This year though, Robby invited us to fly out to California because he was proposing to Carina.

The trip was incredible. It was nice being around my family, especially with Phil spending extra time at the office lately. He wasn’t even able to make the trip because of work. I was worried he’d be alone for the holiday, but he assured me he was spending it with a colleague. His parents always take a cruise for the holiday and his brother spends it with his in-laws.

I thought I would be upset that he wasn’t there, but honestly it was a relief. I didn’t have this pressure to put on a show that everything was amazing between us. I didn’t have to pretend to be the perfect little wife and could let loose. People asked about him but it was easy enough to deflect. Though Tiffany gave me a lot of knowing glances.

Spending time with a couple as in love as Robby and Carina warmed my heart. They deserve their happy ending after everything they’ve gone through. But seeing their love highlighted that I’m not in that place anymore and I don’t know what to do about it. I may not have those strong feelings for Phil I used to, or that I think I used to, but what can I do about it?

I may not behappy, but I don’t know if I’d be any happier alone. I haven’t been single since I was nineteen. I wouldn’t even know the first thing about dating. Everything I hear from Tiffany – and Carina before Robby came back – made me glad I was off the market. I’m not ready to dive into that. I at least need to make an effort in my relationship before I consider giving up. And that’s what I’ve done.

I have thrown myself into Christmas prep. Our house looks like the North Pole threw up in it. I’ve made all of Phil’s favorite treats and dishes. Tomorrow we will go see his family but tonight, Christmas Eve, is just us. It’s a tradition we started when we first got married.

I’m anxiously pacing the kitchen as I wait for him to get home from work. Because of course he had to work today. For being a family business, his family certainly has no concept of work-life balance. When he isn’t home by five, I send him a quick text.

5:06 PM

Me

Hey, will you be home soon? Dinner will be ready within the hour.

Phil

I’m wrapping a few things up now. I should be there by then, but you don’t have to wait on me.

Me

Of course, I’m waiting for you. It’s Christmas Eve!

Phil

Alright, I’ll try to hurry.

An hour and a half later, he makes it in the door.

“Hi, honey. I’m glad you finally made it. They’re working you too hard,” I greet with false cheeriness.

“Someone has to get the work done. If not the boss’ son, then who?” he responds dismissively.

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