Me

I love you guys. And I looooove not being married.

Tiff

Yeah! Marriage is the worst! Love you, too. But where are you?

Carebear

We’re on the deck. Come out here. I’ve got a wasted Bunny on my hands and we need to get her home.

Also, being married is awesome, your husband just sucked.

Tiff

Good riddance to Pencil Prick Phil!

Calling a ride now. I’ll meet you by the stairs.

Oh my God. I can’t believe I was that drunk last night. I appreciate them for celebrating with me but maybe we could have turned down a few of those free shots. I send a series of skull emoji before opening my thread with Georgie.

9:24 AM

Georgie

Congratulations on losing 175 lbs of ass, Honeybun. Come to Chicago and celebrate with me soon!

Lacking the energy to have a conversation with my bestie, I heart his message. As I do, a disheveled Tiffany appears from her bedroom.

“Food?” she croaks. I shake my head and offer her the other Pop-Tart.

“Ugh, no,” she grunts and turns back into her room. “I’m going to get sustenance. If that man of yours hasn’t dragged you away by the time I get back, I’ll share. Otherwise, I’ll leave it in the fridge.”

“You are a true queen,” I thank. The only other messages I have are from Brady. Knowing he should be back any minute, I open them. We didn’t talk much yesterday. His mood was a bit off, but I figured it had to do with losing the night before. He struck out twice and never made it on to base.

8:45 PM

Me

Watching you guys play! Good luck! [image of the girls at Holler's in front of a giant TV

11:57 PM

Brady Bear

Thanks, doll. I’m glad we pulled that one out. You home yet?

12:12 AM

Brady Bear

Based on the video Carina sent Robby, I’m going to assume you are still out. Be careful tonight. Text me when you get home, please.

10:34 AM

Brady Bear

Boarding the plane. I’ll be at your place after we land. I know you got home, but I wouldn’t mind some proof of life.