Flopping down beside me, Tiffany takes me in. “You okay?” she asks.
“I’m fine, why?”
“I don’t know. You’re all angsty and you forgot about the party you helped plan, Miss Maid of Honor.”
“I’ve had a lot on my mind this morning,” I defend and then tell her about the workout class and email from my lawyer.
“Your ex is such a douche canoe. I don’t know how you put up with him. I have to say, I’m overjoyed you’re putting yourself back out there but I did not see your journey of self-discovery going this way.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know a lot of women switch teams after a shitty marriage, but I didn’t think you’d be one of them.”
I sputter. “Switching teams? What are you talking about?”
“Your date.”
“What date?”
“With your fitness instructor,” she says, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.
“That was not a date.”
“I’m pretty sure it was.”
“No,” I say exasperated, “she was being friendly.”
“Did she pay?”
“Yes.”
“Ask for your number?”
“Yes…”
“Try to make future plans?”
“Yes, but…”
“Sounds like a date to me, Bunny.”
“Oh my God!” I screech. “I didn’t mean for it to be a date. I mean she was lovely, but I am unfortunately attracted to men, though my taste is questionable.”
“It’s not your taste. It’s the slim pickings. Don’t worry, I’m sure she could tell. Anyone with a sense of situational awareness would know you aren’t swinging that way. Speaking of swinging though, maybe tonight you’ll let one of these handsome baseball boys show you his bat.”
“Tiffany!”
“What?”
“You know I’m not ready for that. You remember what happened last time I tried to get with someone. I don’t need to relive that disaster more than I already am.”
“Don’t be dramatic, that’s Carina’s thing. And I think you are ready for it. You’re just scared. You need to sample what you’ve been missing. I mean, it’s been over a year since you’ve had a man-made O, assuming Phil could get the job done before you stopped having sex.”
“Meh.”
“Such a douche canoe,” she grumbles.
“Come on, Lo. Live a little tonight. You don’t have to find Mr. Right, just Mr. Good for Tonight.”