“Why don’t you and Brooke come along?”
Why, why did I say that?
What on earth did I think I would achieve by doing this?
Inviting your little brother and the girl he had been in love with since they were five to vacation for six weeks was stupid.
Because I, Chase Anderson, had also fallen for her.
She was a fucking temptress every time I was around her. A siren calling me to crash on the jagged rocks to my doom. The way her bottom lip pouted when she wanted something and couldn’t get her way, the smile she wore every day so fucking pure, and that fucking hot, tight body I wanted to defile every second of every day.
I’m screwed!
I was twelve when she came into my life, and I haven’t looked back. Her mother, Lisa, knocked on our door one day to introduce herself to the neighbors as they had moved in next door.
I stood there watching, judging, leaning against the door frame from the kitchen. Deciding whether or not I liked her, whether she was as fake as the rest of them around here. All happiness and sweetness in front of you, but was there something behind that smile like everyone else had? An agenda of some sort.
My family came from money, old money, and that brought the snakes and the leeches out. Even at twelve, I knew this. I learned fast. I had to. People flocked to me, wanting to be my friend, hoping the family name would somehow grace them. Like a twelve-year-old boy had any control over that.
Then, this little bundle of energy and joy came out of nowhere, peering around her mother’s skirt. Pure innocence in those beautiful, pale green eyes stole my breath away. A shy smile invaded her face as she locked eyes with me.
My mother noticed our reaction to each other and invited them both in. I think she hoped it would make me thaw out. She used to call me her little snowman because I was cold to everyone we met. I knew how I was to people, but it was better to be that than disappointed.
She waved me over. “This is my eldest son, Chase.” She gave me a look that said behave and be nice. I was rarely nice to strangers. I had seen the greed and motivations in their eyes, but this girl was different, and so was her mother. “My other son, Nate, is at football practice.”
This little girl with pale green eyes and shiny, long auburn hair in two pigtails wandered over bold as day and stuck her hand out to me. “I’m Brooke.”
I took her hand, shaking it, a little dumbstruck at how confident this girl was for her age. She was grinning at me, even giggling at how silent I was, challenging me to talk. I couldn’t help but smile back. I gave her a kiss on the back of her hand.
“I’m Chase.”
She giggled, and that beautiful sound touched my heart, which had grown so cold. I knew that was a sound I wanted to hear for the rest of my life.
“Wow, you’re like a real prince in the stories. Mommy always calls me princess, so one day I’m going to marry you,” she continued giggling before her mother called her away, and she ran off. I was left with a feeling I had never experienced before. My whole body felt lighter, warmer somehow, like the indifference I usually felt was thawing.
From that day, I knew she was right. I wanted to marry that girl. Not that I knew what that really meant at that age, but I knew I could see her in my life forever.
Her innocence was something I needed in the shithole of the world I was raised in. She was just a girl that made me smile. But as we both grew up, my adoration for her boldness and laughter turned into a need to protect her, which quickly turned into love and a burning desire to make her mine when she became a woman.
There was one problem with that…my brother Nate. He had the same dopey, love-drunk look in his eyes after meeting her that afternoon in the street, and they quickly became best friends and have been for the last fourteen years. He is utterly crazy about that girl, and she doesn’t even realize it. It’s like she’s blind to it.
My dreams of marrying Brooke went out the window when my brother came home and told me about the pretty girl he had just met. So, I did what any older brother would. I stepped back, took that star-struck look out of my eyes, and did what I could to protect and shield her from harm without her being in my arms.
I ensured no one gave that girl any problems at school when she was there and that no one in town gossiped about her or looked at her in the wrong way. I made sure no guy disrespected her and that any guy who asked her out knew to treat her right and not touch her in any way I wouldn’t like.
And as far as I knew, it worked. She’s still just as innocent and pure with big dreams. They just didn’t involve me, and that hurt me more than I could ever put into words. Now she’s nineteen and ready to take on the world without me.
One day, my brother will tell her he is head over heels in love with her. But I don’t think it’s going to go well. I think he’s hoping it will. He will never admit it to me, but it’s obvious how he feels. I mean, he even followed her to college when he got scholarship offers to go to the top five sports colleges, not just in the state but the country. At least he didn’t take the same courses as her, so he’s not always around her.
I roll my eyes at how she’s whipped us both without realizing it. Nate was her shadow, and they were nearly always attached. I sigh. Maybe I’m wishful thinking here. Perhaps I’m hoping it won’t go well. Maybe I’m just hoping she will choose me and deny my brother. I’m an asshole for even thinking about it, I know.
I pretend she is mine when I manage to get her alone, though. I treasure those moments. I see how she looks at me, how her skin warms when I touch her, and how her breath quickens when I speak. I wonder if I make her nervous and, if so, why.
I never asked her because then I could fantasize about why. I pretend she’s my girl. I live for those moments because I know I could never cross the line until my brother tries his shot…maybe not even after that.
So, I haveto take what I’ve got and hope she responds that way because she has feelings for me more than you would a friend, and not because she doesn’t feel that way about me and feels awkward or scared. Hell, my worst nightmare is if she is embarrassed about me because she loves him back, and I am justhis brother acting inappropriately.
I have an out planned for that day if it comes, though. I couldn’t stay to watch his lips on hers. It takes all my strength not to rip him off when he touches her as it is, but if the day comes when she becomes his, I’ll leave. I won’t even stay in the same country.