Page 14 of A Touch of Heaven

I exhale, accepting that I probably just made that worse too, and make another cup of coffee, pulling out a second cup this time. I open the cupboard, grinning, knowing there’s no way Brooke would have left home without her coffee additions, and I was right. I add two shots of caramel and a shot of strawberry syrup. I turn my nose up at it as I stir the syrups in, wondering how Brooke could ever drink coffee like this. The first time she ordered this in front of me, even the barista looked shocked. I stir it thoroughly before making my way to her room, knowing this will probably be the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do.

I don’t bother knocking, knowing she won’t let me in if I ask. Instead, I open the door and creep in. She’s asleep on her bed still, her hair spread out over her pillow and her covers thrown off to the end. She looks peaceful while she sleeps, and I wonder if I should wake her, but as I get closer, I can see the tear stains on her cheeks, and I feel like I’ve been smacked in the face as I know I’m the cause of them. She’s fallen asleep in the same clothes as yesterday, which means she cried herself asleep. A sinking feeling settles over me as I realize what I’ve done to her.

I place the two cups on the bedside table and gently stroke her hair with my fingertips, pulling a few strands between them.

“Hey beautiful, wake up, lazy girl.” I kiss her cheek softly. “Come on, Princess, time to wake up.” She opens her eyes sleepily, yawning, and then, as she gets her focus back, her eyes narrow at me, full of disdain and disgust.

“Never call me that again, and get the hell out of my room.” She goes to turn over to put her back to me, but I don’t let her. I place my hands on her arms and pull her back, holding her down to look up at me.

“I will always call you that, Brooke, because that’s what you are to me.” I pull her up so she’s sitting. “You will always be my princess.”

She scoffs. “Yeah, just like every other girl you meet,” she says bitterly. Brooke has never looked at me this way. Like I’m the biggest disappointment in her life. I know I deserve that, but it doesn’t make it hurt any less.

“This is because that’s what I called Harper, right?” I know I look sheepish right now. She says nothing but doesn’t look at me either. I tip her chin back to me softly. “I’m sorry, Brooke, I shouldn’t have done that. I was angry at you, and I lashed out, but I promise you I have never, ever called any other girl that before, and I never will again.”

She chokes down a sob. “That meant something to me, Chase. That was always our thing. It always reminded me of how we met, how you took my hand and…and you twisted it, and you used it to put me down like I was nothing to you.”

I pull her closer to me, placing my arms around her, so angry at myself that I hurt her like this.

“I know,” I say softly, running my fingers through her hair as she stills in my arms. “I fucked up, Brooke, and I promise I won’t ever hurt you like that ever again. You’re so fucking important to me, and I’m an idiot for doing it.”

She pulls back. “And yesterday on the porch?” She looks up at me, and I can see the tears threatening to spill out of those beautiful eyes of hers, trying to stop them. She hates crying in front of others. It makes her feel weak and vulnerable. “Why? Why would you do that to me? Say those things? Touch me like that?”

My breath is heavy as I try to figure out what to say. “Because I’m the idiot that loves you, and I was angry. I took it out on you. You’ve been part of my family for so long now, Brooke. I don’t want anyone to hurt you or take advantage of you…” I swallow hard as I force the words out, trying not to choke on them. “You’re like a sister to me, Princess, and I would never want that to happen to you. I know it happens to other girls, and I’m trying to protect you, and I overreacted.” I feel her tense, and she scowls at me before she pushes me back.

“You always touch your sister like that?”

Wow, that hurt. She said it with such spite and hatred. I don’t think I’ll ever fail to remember that tone in her voice. She’s never said a hateful word to anyone, even when they deserved it.

“I know I fucked up. I said this. But this is what guys do, and I’m no exception, Brooke—you’re too sweet, too innocent, and I know some of that is my fault for protecting you so fiercely, but you need to know it. They will take advantage of you like I did last night, and I know I took it too far. I’m sorry, I will spend as long as it takes making it up to you, I promise.”

CHAPTERSIX

BROOKE

He said it. He tore the heart out of my chest with one little word.

Sister.

I’m like hissister, and it’s killing me inside.

It’s what I always knew but never wanted to acknowledge. I guess I always hoped, maybe, just maybe, we could be something more, but I was wrong. I nod at his words, but I feel numb. I can feel the emptiness creeping in.

My entire world feels like it’s crumbling. I have loved this man for fourteen years, and today, he told me I was nothing more than a sister. I try my best to give him a smile, trying not to show the real pain I’m feeling right now and why I am so upset. But physically, I’m trying not to vomit. I swallow down the bile threatening to come up. I’ve fallen madly and truly for a guy that thinks of me as family.

I can tell he’s upset; worry lines are etched into his face, and dark rings around his eyes where he didn’t sleep last night. “Never treat me like that again,” I say firmly but quietly, unable to make any more words come out, fearing I might cry again.

I take the coffee he made me and drink, looking down into the mug. The hot liquid warming my insides the way coffee always does. He remembers how I take it. I think about the first time he saw me order it. The look of sheer horror on his face. My coffee tastes are complex, unlike Chases—black, one sugar. Simple. I smile at the thought, and I look up at him.

“I accept your apology on the account of coffee,” I say softly, and he smiles in response, his whole face lighting up. “Thank you,” I whisper. How could someone with that smile break my heart like this and not realize it?

He runs his hand through my hair, stroking down my face and ending up at my chin. He smiles, but it looks a little sad.

“No problem, Princess. Now get out of bed. We’re going out. Just you and me. I promised to make yesterday up to you, so I’m going to spend the whole day trying.” He gets off the bed and walks over to the door but stops just short of it, turning back to look at me. “And Brooke, I really am sorry.”

He looks lost. I rarely see Chase vulnerable, and I hate that it has to do with me. Even though he’s breaking my heart, I would never want to cause him any pain.

I put my coffee on the side and stand on the bed, walking over to the end and wrapping my arms around his neck. I must look ridiculous right now, but it’s the only way I can be at eye level with him.

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