Page 5 of A Touch of Heaven

I’m ready if it happens because I don’t know what I would do if I saw that. I’ve lived the last fourteen years dreading that day. So, I’ve started distancing myself from her now because I know that moment will destroy me.

Whenever my brother found a girlfriend, I felt like I could breathe again, hoping they would stick. This would be the one that cleared Brooke from his mind, but it was hopeless. I knew they all paled in comparison to her, so they came and went. Every day, my brother gets a little closer to her, calls her beautiful, and gets a little bolder, touching her in different ways. The truth is anyone who didn’t know them would assume they were together already.

But when he had his girlfriends, he would throw himself into his relationships, trying to make them work, and Brooke would step back, happy for him. And those were the best times of my life. Because in those moments, she would hang out with me without him, sharing her dreams and asking me about mine.

We would hang out under the stars and talk until the sun came up, then head down to Bennys for breakfast and talk some more. Besides Ash and Jax, no one knows more about me than her.

To everyone else, I am the mysterious, moody brother. But Brooke sees me for me and knows most of my secrets except the most important ones that I have wanted to tell her for years, and I can’t because they are not my secrets to tell. She knows nearly everything I could give her about myself, and I trust her with it all.

However, in the last few months, I have backed off a bit; I stopped visiting them at college. I didn’t even come home for Christmas. It just became too hard to see the girl I can never have for multiple reasons.

Instead, I threw myself into Asher’s project, but lately, I feel I am losing myself in it. I need to see her to help ground myself again. Working with my dad has become a background thing. I know he is pissed with me, but my heart isn’t in it, and the truth is my brothers, not of my blood, are more important to me than following my old man’s dream.He’s given me freedom, but now he wants me to settle down and be realistic about my future.

I drove up here alone, telling my brother to take the girls. He thinks I am being my usual asshole self, but I’m only like that with him when it’s about her. I can imagine them sitting in the back seat while I drive, giggling at those private jokes they have. It makes my blood boil.

Harper would likely be in the front seat trying to pry information out of me about Asher while trying to act cool about it. I smile at that thought, though. I could see her with Asher, but not yet. He still lives the playboy’s life and isn’t ready to give it up yet. He needs it to balance out the chaos he lives with.

But I notice the twinkle in his eyes when she is around. The way he casually touches her or the way he knows she is in the room and immediately goes tense without even seeing her. I see it all because it’s like staring at my reaction to Brooke.

Asher hasn’t lived the easiest life, and he’s afraid of her catching his darkness like it was a disease. So, he throws himself into booze, weed, and girls, and until he is ready to get himself out of it, there’s no hope for either of them. I also don’t know how she could carry the secret we have. I understand why he thinks it would infect her. It’s yet another reason I haven’t told Brooke how I feel.

I hear a car horn honk, and it makes me jump. My heart beats out of its chest as it pulls me from my thoughts. I turn around to watch my friends pull up. Jax, Asher, and I have been inseparable since middle school. We have pretty much become invincible since we met. No one is stupid enough to mess with us.

Asher is a lot like my brother. Built and muscular. He’s played a lot of football, including college. Until he got into yet another fight and busted out his knee. I feel bad for him. Football was the one thing that helped him escape his life and tragic past, and, in an instant, it was gone. He got into fights a lot growing up. He was angry with the world, and losing football makes him worse. He can snap in an instant.

Since then, he drinks and gets high to stop himself from feeling the pain, but to the rest of the world, he looks like a cool guy not to be messed with. He has dark brown hair and lets it fall over his face. It’s longish and has a natural sweep to it.

I hear plenty of girls describe his eyes as smoke-like. They are probably right but smoke from a fire set to burn the world to the ground. The only time I see him with a genuine smile after he lost football is around Harper and sometimes us.

Jax, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. Jax is slimmer but athletic, with muscular arms and a decent six-pack that he always shows off if he can.

If Asher and I are the angry ones in the trio, then Jax balances us out. He’s usually the happy one but also the most logical. He doesn’t look at things the same way as us, and I’ve got out of plenty of scrapes because of him.

Jax has dark mahogany hair and lots of it. He keeps it styled like he is permanently windswept. For such a logical guy, he sure is vain. He has blue eyes, and they are sharp like a hawk. He always goes into everything with his eyes open and is aware of everything.

Everyone sees this popular hot guy who doesn’t let life bother him. But there is a smartness there that he keeps hidden, and many people underestimate him. While in school, he was also taking college classes at MIT. That helps us a lot with the project. He’s a great hacker.

Guys want to be us, and girls want to fuck us. Which Jax and Ash take full advantage of, and me?

If a girl throws herself at my feet, who am I to turn her away?

But the whole time her lips are around my cock, all I can see are pale green eyes looking up at me. And when I have their hair wrapped around my wrist as I fuck them to their orgasms, I always imagine it’s her soft, pretty, auburn hair caressing my skin.

Fuck! I really am sick.

Asher slaps me on the shoulder. “Damn, I can tell where those thoughts were.”

Jax grins wickedly. “Yeah, that hot little piece of ass that’s joining us soon…you know if you don’t make a move soon, I’m going to tap that!”

I scowl at him, clenching my fists at my side. I know he’s joking around. He wouldn’t dare touch her, but he loves to wind me up about it, and it always works. He puts his hands up, backing off, and they both erupt in laughter.

“Idiots,” I mutter under my breath.

We all grab our bags from our trunks, and that’s when Nate pulls up in his truck. That is the best gift I have ever given him. I spent hours finding the right one for him, the excellent finish, the right color, and it is perfect. In fact, it’s better than mine.

He kept asking dad for an advancement on his trust fund to get one, but my dad said no. He said he wasn’t ready for that amount of money. Hell, out of both of us, he’s the sensible one. So, I went ahead and got him one under the guise of his birthday.

Things between us over the years haven’t been the easiest. He’s jealous of my relationship with my friends, and the truth is we’re not as close as we used to be, but I won’t let him get pulled into this stuff we have going on. It isn’t fair; he’s a good guy, and I want to keep him that way.

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