Page 46 of A Touch of Heaven

“Your brother should be here for us to celebrate. We can do it when they come back. He’s going to be so proud of you, Nate. Your whole family will be.”

I smile at her, but it doesn’t quite reach my eyes as she slips off my lap and carries on unpacking. For that brief fleeting moment, she forgot him, but I’m wondering if that will ever be longer than a moment. After all, Chase and I are forever linked by blood.

He won’t care about the Panthers. He hasn’t taken a single interest in my career, in me at all for years. I’m not hisprecious friends. I grab a slice of apple from the fruit tub, placing it in my mouth as doubt sets in that she will never be mine because he’s already made her his.

CHAPTERTWENTY-FOUR

BROOKE

Ihad the best day, but something in me is worried about Nate. We had an amazing moment, then he pulled back, and I don’t understand why. He was a little more reserved once I told him we had to celebrate, and I don’t get it. One minute, he gives me the most amazing news and the next…

He’s gone out with the boys tonight, making up some excuse about having plans already, and that just leaves me and Harper to catch up.

We sit on the deck with a glass of wine in our hands as I tell her about our day, and she attentively listens to everything. I know I shouldn’t have told her about Nate’s news, but I’m so proud of him, and I couldn’t help but share.

“I don’t know…I can’t quite explain it. It was like every time he looked at me, it was like he was a little melancholy.”

Harper takes a sip of her wine—well, a large mouthful. “So, when did it happen? What was said exactly?”

“I was telling him we should celebrate but wait till Chase was back as he would want to join in.”

Harper snorts, “You really are thick, you know!”

I punch her in the arm. “Hey!”

She shakes her head. “B, you’re Nate’s best friend, and you’ve never noticed he and Chase aren’t exactly close?”

“I know that, but of course, he’s going to be proud of his brother. This is life-changing for Nate.”

She sighs, “It’s a good job you’re pretty, B. Okay, one!” She holds up a finger, “That boy knows you like his brother, but you asked him for a date and then mentioned said brother when you should have just been living in the moment with Nate. Two…” She holds up a second finger, “I don’t think Chase even knows his brother plays football anymore. He’s never been to one of his games. Well, at least not as long as I’ve been your friend. Think! Have you ever seen him there? I haven’t. Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen Chase even say more than a few sentences to him, and when he does, it’s never about football. He spends all his time with Jax and Asher.”

Suddenly, it hits me. She’s right. Chase hasn’t been to one of his games for a few years now. And usually, when I’m at their house, I’m either with Nate or talking to Chase. They’re very rarely actually talking to each other, let alone in the same room.

“Oh fuck. You’re right.” God, I feel like I’ve let him down, not realizing that it’s that bad. I mean, I knew they weren’t very close, but how could I not know they barely talk anymore?

“Okay, well then, I need to make sure Chase fixes that. He needs to grow up and be a fucking good older brother to Nate. He deserves that!”

“See, that’s where you’re going wrong, B. Your job,ifyou’re in this with Nate all the way, is not to try and fix his relationship with his brother. It’s to support Nate in whatever he chooses to do about it. Hell, it wouldn’t surprise me if Nate chooses to walk away from his brother.”

I say nothing, instead, sipping my wine quietly, knowing she’s right. But if he and Chase aren’t getting on and this thing with Nate works out, that could mean cutting Chase out of my life because I couldn’t be there for Nate and still hang out with Chase in the way I do now.

I know I’m angry with Chase, sick of playing his games, but could I do that? Take Nate’s side if he decides to cut Chase out when he moves.

I look over at Harper, and she’s giving me a pitiful smile.

“You can’t…can you? Support Nate if he decided one day to cut his brother out of his life?”

“I…I don’t know,” I say honestly.

“Then you have your answer, B. You need to be honest with Nate. No matter what happens between you and Chase, you need to tell him. That you can’t be who he needs. It’s not fair to him. And if I’m honest…” She reaches out, taking my hand. “You’ve been using him. It’s some kind of twisted payback or to help you try to get over Chase.”

I know she’s right. I want the kind of relationship that Nate can give me, but I don’t want it to be with Nate. She pulls me close, lays my head on her lap, and strokes my hair.

“It’s okay, B. You have no judgment from me. It will be okay eventually.”

What have I become?

I lay there in silence and realize I could lose Nate completely if I come clean to him, and I think I’ve already lost Chase. If I can even say that I ever had him. Instead, I have gotten myself into a situation where I may have just lost two of the most important people to me.

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