Page 66 of Deal with Mr. Cruel

“I know what I asked you to do wasn’t right. I see that now. Hell, I saw it when I proposed the idea.”

“Proposed? More like blackmailed.”

“I wasn’t thinking straight. I was so focused on getting back at Nico that I didn’t care about anything else.”

“Or anyone.”

Jonas could see her walls were still high and he wondered if he were getting any closer to knocking them down. It was actually more like a steep climb to the top, and he was terrified of what was over the edge.

“Whydidyou choose me?Really?”

“Because it’syou.”

She looked at him curiously.

“Aside from the nasty way I went about it, I knew deep down it meant spending time with you.” Jonas sighed. “The truth is, I’ve missed you.”

Mae remained silent.

“I’ve missed you since I let you leave my apartment all those years ago.”

“But you let me leave. You didn’t fight for me. For us. You’re the one who ended things.”

“And I’ve regretted it every day. I was a stupid kid back then. Trying to make it in the big world. Trying to live up to his father’s absurd expectations.”

“You hurt me, Jonas,” she said softly.

Jonas took a slow step toward her. “I know.”

“Twice.”

“I know.”

Mae seemed to gather her strength and stood slowly from the couch. She shook her head.

“Look, I appreciate you telling me the truth. I know that wasn’t easy for you. But it’s all too little too late, Jonas.”

She took a few steps toward the door before Jonas gently grabbed her hand. She looked at his hand enclosed around hers and slowly up at him. “You know I can’t do this again.”

Her words hit him like a punch to the gut. He held onto her hand like a life raft. Because surely if she left again, he would drown. She didn’t pull away. Not yet, at least. He studied her face, but he couldn’t read her. It was a pool of anger, sadness, regret, fear.

“I’m here, Mae. For good.”

“I wish I could believe that.”

“You can,” he said assuredly.

“How am I supposed to trust you? Again?”

“I don’t know, but I’ll spend every day proving that you can. I want to be with you.”

“But you told Nico it was all fake.”

“I was stupid. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean it.”

She furrowed her brow, not believing him. He took her head between his hands and brought his forehead to meet hers. He felt her suck in a breath. Every memory they had together flooded back to him.

“I’mready. I’m ready for all of it. I’m ready to be home at 5:30 every day. I’m ready to eat Chinese food on the couch and watch those awful dating shows. I’m ready to deal with your grumpy ass in the mornings when an IV of coffee wouldn’t be able to lift your mood. I’m ready to enjoy a glass of wine with you and watch the sunset every evening. I’m ready to lie with you in bed, tangled in the sheets. I’m ready to be your husband.”

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