Page 70 of Snowed In with My Best Friend's Dad

I stood and walked toward Miranda, but as I got close, she put her arms out in front of her and stepped back to block me.

"I'm sorry, Miranda. I had no idea that you came by."

"I guess you should give your secretary a raise since she's able to keep people away, even when you're there."

I shrugged, not sure how to explain the situation. "It's quite possible I wasn't there. I divide my time between two businesses."

She crossed her arms again. "I saw Lindsay go up and waited. After fifteen minutes, she didn't leave. That tells me you were there."

I shook my head. "Not necessarily. I often arrive at my office to find Lindsay waiting for me. But that's not really the point. My admin might've been rude—"

She arched a brow. "Might've?"

I huffed out a breath to keep from snapping. "Let's say that she was. But I wasn't. If I'd known that you were there, I would've seen you."

She shook her head, her expression telling me she didn't believe me. "You wouldn't. The last time I saw you before then, you told me to stay the fuck away from you."

For a moment, I didn't say anything because what could I say? "I immediately regretted that not just because it was hurtful, but because it wasn't true.” I looked down in shame and disgust with myself. I finally met her gaze again. "But you had no way of knowing that, so I understand that you don’t believe me." I took a chance, reaching my hand out, wanting to run my finger down her cheek.

She tilted her head away, wrapping her fingers around my wrist to keep me from touching her. I tugged my hand enough that I could slide it out from her fingers and instead clasped them just like I had at the doctor’s appointment.

She stared up at me with wary eyes. "What are you doing?"

I watched her, willing her to see that I wasn't a monster even though I knew it still resided in me. "Do you still hate me?"

Tears swam in her eyes, and while I didn't want to see her cry, it gave me hope that maybe she was changing her mind even though she didn't want to. "Yes." Her lips quivered when she spoke.

"Someday, I hope you won't." I brought her hand to my lips, giving it a kiss, all the while wishing I could hold her and kiss her more thoroughly. But I still didn't have the right. Then I left.

As I drove home, I realized I had forgotten to ask about her stepmom. I decided it wasn't important. If the woman tried to approach me again, then I would figure out what to do about it. Instead, I focused on the news that Miranda had tried to see me. I replayed my visit with her, wondering if I was being a fool to think that while her words and wariness told me to stay away, there were glimpses that she would be able to forgive me. Maybe I needed to lay it all out on the line. Maybe I needed to tell her that what I wanted was her in my life. Her and the baby.

But all I could imagine that she would do would be to laugh at me or tell me in no uncertain terms that she would never, ever stop hating me. I wasn't ready to hear that. I couldn’t give up on having something that I had long ago given up thinking I could ever have.

26

Miranda

When Brett left, I cursed myself and how precariously close I came to giving in to his touch. When I looked into his eyes and really studied them, they appeared sincere. It was almost as if he wanted more from me. What else could I read into the kiss he gave my hand? But for all I knew, my silly schoolgirl dreams were clouding the situation. And whether he wanted something more from me or not, there was the fact that he had the potential to be cruel. One minute, he would desperately want me, and then the next, he would be pushing me away, calling me names, acting as if I’d done something wrong simply by existing. I didn’t want to go through that anymore. When I went to bed that night, I vowed I wouldn't get caught up again.

But my willpower continued to be tested each time Brett visited me. Sometimes, he'd come in the evenings, and sometimes, during the day when he knew I'd be home doing my online classes. I finally gave up asking him why he was there, but when he would leave, he’d ask if I still hated him and I croaked out the word “Yes” to protect myself. Each time I said it, his eyes flashed with pain, but he would say that someday, he hoped that my feelings would change.

I wanted to come right out and ask his intentions but didn't want to be humiliated to discover all his effort was simply so that we could get along when the baby came. That he didn't actually feel anything for me.

A few weeks later was the beginning of April, and while spring had officially started, it wasn’t until now that it felt like winter had broken. My dad was out at the bar with his friends when Brett showed up carrying a bag from a toy store.

I opened the door to him, knowing it would be fruitless to try and keep him away. "Are you buying presents for the baby already?" I hadn't begun to think about creating a nursery for the baby. Luckily, there was an extra bedroom in the house, although I needed to clean it from its use as a storage room.

He shook his head. "Nope. This is for you." He handed me the bag as he shrugged off his coat and hung it on one of the pegs in the hall.

I used the handles to pull the bag open wider and looked in. "Trivial Pursuit?"

"I thought maybe for once you can beat me up in a game instead of with your words."

Inwardly, I winced because I was frequently snarky and curt with him, but that was only to help keep my distance, or more accurately, hoping that by behaving that way, he'd stay away.

Resolved that he was going to spend the evening with me, I carried the game into the living room. As he set it up, I went to the kitchen and got him a beer and myself a glass of milk.

"You really are a glutton for punishment. You know that?" I set his beer in front of him on the coffee table.

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