Page 64 of Snowed In with My Best Friend's Dad

I thought about going to the gym but instead changed into running clothes and decided to run in the neighborhood. I wanted to pound away the anger and frustration and self-loathing that were threatening to consume me whole. But no matter how hard, fast, or long I ran, my demons kept pace.

Physically and emotionally exhausted, I returned home to find Lindsay and Dunk in my kitchen dancing to eighties tunes as they got out plates and opened a box of pizza.

"We were going to start without you," Dunk said, grabbing a third plate.

"What are you doing here?"

Lindsay looked up at me, her eyes shining with sympathy. "We knew today was the doctor’s appointment and we wanted to find out how it went."

"It was fine." I made a beeline to my bedroom, stripping my clothes, climbing into the shower, and dunking my head under the spray. But just like the run hadn't warded off my demons, neither did the water wash them away.

When I returned to the kitchen, I'd hoped they’d given up and left, but of course they hadn’t.

Dunk opened the oven and pulled out the box of pizza. "This time, we really will eat without you if you don't sit down now."

Two minutes later, we were all at the table with pizza and beer.

"Was everything really all right?" Lindsay asked again, sincerity shining in her eyes.

I took a long swig of my beer. "The doctor said there hadn't been much change in the last week but that it wasn't bad. It's not getting worse, and if the issues are going to resolve themselves, it will take a couple of weeks."

"Whew," Lindsay’s expression brightened. "Did you get to see the baby or hear the heartbeat?"

The memory of it filled me with emotion. I reached out and took Lindsay's hand. "I did, and it was amazing. As if I needed more guilt, it made me regret that I hadn't been a part of all that when your mother was pregnant with you."

"Luckily for you, I had no idea what was going on inside the womb.” She gave my hand a squeeze, telling me that I was forgiven.

I thought back to the time at the cabin with Miranda and how we both marveled at the way Lindsay went through life. Living moment by moment often seemed directionless and flighty to me, but at the same time, she wasn't letting past bitterness or grievances hold her back. Here I was, her father, having slept with and knocked up her best friend, and she didn't hate or resent me for it. I needed more of whatever it was about her that could stay calm and accept life. God, how I wished Miranda would have more of that as well. Maybe then I’d have a chance to put things right.

"Is Miranda still giving you the cold shoulder? She didn’t like the gift?" Dunk asked, shoving his pizza in his mouth.

"I think she liked the gift, but she still has no interest in me. There was a moment when she took my hand during the doctor’s appointment, but it didn't mean anything. I think it was nerves or emotional overwhelm."

"You were there for her, right, Dad?" Lindsay asked.

"Yes."And then in the car, I blew it by snapping at her. "I think I'm just going to have to accept that whatever my future holds with Miranda, it's going to be a distant civil arrangement."

Dunk shrugged. "It's only been a week. In time, you'll be able to make her fall for you again."

"To be honest, I'm not sure if she ever actually fell for me."

"Oh, I'm certain of it," Lindsay said.

It was odd talking about my love life with my daughter in general. But when it involved her friend, it seemed even weirder. Probably inappropriate.

"How do you know so much?” Dunk asked. “Did Miranda say something?"

For a moment, I hoped Miranda had revealed something to Lindsay. Maybe I would learn that she was softening toward me, and I just needed to be patient and persistent.

She shook her head. "No. That's a topic we stay away from. I know because Miranda isn't the type of person to sleep with somebody if she doesn't like them."

I arched a brow at her. "It's not exactly true." But again, feeling weird, I didn't want to tell my daughter that I slept with Miranda the night we met.

"Okay, so maybe it was quick before you two hit the sack.”

I winced. Really. This was not a discussion to have with my daughter.

“But you had drinks, right? You talked, right? And the same at the cabin. Face it, Dad, she saw something beyond all that surliness of yours."

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