Page 65 of Curses and Cures

For the last two weeks, Arden, Carrick and I have been taking turns watching over her, but instead of improving, she seems to have withdrawn into herself further with every passing day.

We’ve kept her alive by spoon feeding her soup and soft foods throughout the day. She chews and swallows, following our instructions to eat, but she’s never really there. Never present.

She hasn’t made a sound as I've guided her to the bathroom so she can use the toilet. Not a murmur when I soothed her bruises with cream, helped her to bathe, washing her with a gentle touch and soft words of encouragement.

There are no words. Not even the attempt at any.

If speaking was the only thing she wasn't able or willing to do, I could live with that. But seeing her like this. So fucking numb. Completely and utterly checked out. That kills me.

She's a ghost, a fucking wraith, a shadow.

And I'm at a loss of what to do. We all are.

Arden nods tightly, a muscle flicking in his jaw as he steps into the room. I watch him as he flicks through Cyn's recipe book, showing me a double page spread. Her intricate drawings and neat script makes my heart pang.

"I'm going to make this," he says, finger hovering over the page.

"A tonic to ease a broken heart," I read. "Do you think it will work?"

"This is Cyn we're talking about, of course it'll work," Arden replies, an edge of desperation in his voice as his gaze drifts from me to Cyn.

"And you think you can pull it off?"

"I've spent the last two weeks since we got back studying this book and Cyn's recipes. I can do this."

"But you're not Cyn. It could go wrong."

"What choice do we have? Cyn is slipping away from us and I refuse to just sit by and watch."

"None of us are equipped to deal with this, Arden. Cyn was the one who was capable of healing others, not us. Who the fuck do we think we are?" I reply with frustration.

Arden's expression darkens, his fingers tightening around her recipe book. "We're the men who love her and we'regoingto be the men who'll heal her, understand?"

I take a deep breath and try to steady myself. I want to believe him, I really do, but it's so damn hard. Cyn is the healer, the one who understands the human body, mind and soul. Without her guidance we're floundering in an abyss of helplessness.

"Do you truly believe that we're capable?" I ask quietly.

Arden pauses for a moment before answering. "I take it you don't?" he counters. "I thought we were on the same page."

We were, and yet I look at Cyn, at the blankness of her stare and the paleness of her skin, and want to fucking rage at the world. We might've rescued her from Soren, but now that she's here in our care, nothing has been able to bring her back from this darkness that has settled over her like a shroud.

"Fuck," I exclaim, scraping a hand through my hair as I get up and walk to the window, needing a moment.

Arden follows me, resting his hand on my shoulder. "Lorcan, don't fucking lose it now. I need you to keep it together."

"Lets just say that by some fucking miracle she does come back to us," I say, turning back to face him, and lowering my voice. "What do we tell her about the woman who died? We met her that night when we delivered the diamonds, Arden, and we didn't help her."

His face pales, regret burning in his eyes. "The only thing we can do. We tell her the truth."

"We could lose her," I counter.

"We could." He grits his teeth, casting his gaze to Cyn before turning back to me. "But I promised Cyn that there would be no more secrets between us, and I intend on keeping that promise."

"Okay," I agree, my stomach churning at the dire situation we're in. I don't want to lie to Cyn either, but this truth? This one is going to hurt. Her and us.

Arden grips me on the back of the head and pulls me into a hug, his lips brushing against my neck in warm affection as I wrap my arms around his back. We remain like that for long moments before he eventually pulls away.

"Would you mind sitting with Cyn a bit longer? I want to get started on this right away."

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