Page 110 of His Greatest Muse

Ava looks at me from behind Noah, alarmed. I shake my head, trying to settle her. He heard a portion of that conversation and took it the wrong way. The party makes sense now. It was his way of trying to hide his hurt.

“You misunderstood what we were talking about. Nobody thinks you’re a waste of talent,” I clarify.

His expression closes off fully. “Explain what you meant, then.”

“We want you to do more with yourself. You’re turning opportunities down that others would love. By continuing to put yourself in situations like these ones, you’re wasting the talent that lives inside of you.”

“There’s that word again,” he spits.

Ava tries to diffuse the situation and sets her hand on Noah’s shoulder. He shrugs it off and steps even further from us.

“You’re not wasting anything, honey. That’s a bad way to put it,” she murmurs.

“Stop, Mom. Just stop. I don’t need this. I don’t need any of you.”

“Noah,” she whispers, pain twisting her features.

“I can’t live like this anymore!” he shouts. Like a terrified animal, he lifts his hands up and takes quick steps back. “The pressure to live up to Maddox. The disappointment in Dad’s eyes every time I make a decision that he doesn’t approve of. I’m never going to be the son you wanted.”

I swallow, fighting the urge to go to him and wrap him in a hug. “You’re high. Let’s talk about this in the morning.”

“I’m high because it’s the only way to stop thinking about what a fucking failure I am. I invited those people over to piss you off because I wanted to watch you suffer the way I am. I’m getting out of this fucking house as soon as I can. Away from you. I can’t stand being around you.”

The hate in his tone strikes me at the knees. Ava’s mouth is open, but no words come out. I cough, trying to dislodge the rock stuck in my tightening throat.

“Noah—” I begin.

“Don’t bother. I’ve already started looking for places in town.”

When he stalks past me, I reach for his arm, but he slaps it away. I’ve never seen so much anger and hatred in his eyes before. Such betrayal. I stare where he used to stand and blink slowly, disbelieving, as his bedroom door slams shut. A piece of me chips away, leaving behind an ache that I don’t know how to soothe.

This burst wasn’t just from today. It’s been building for years. From things I didn’t even know I was doing. Ava brushes her hands down my shoulders, and I let her try to bring me comfort, even though we both know I don’t deserve it.

41

NOAH

PRESENT

When I wake next,it’s my dad sitting at my bedside. Eyes groggy, I blink to bring him into focus. Regardless of my lack of empathy for him, I can admit that he looks like shit. Must feel like it too. He’s alone in the room with me, hunched in a plastic chair beside my bed. Fingers clenched in the blankets beside my leg, it’s as if he wanted to touch me but decided against it.

“You’re awake,” he blurts out when he notices that I’m awake. I stare back at him, and he laughs humourlessly. “I know I’m not who you wanted to see.”

“You’re right.” My voice is scratchy, still fucked from how long I was asleep.

“She’s been guarding your door for the last few hours, if that helps. Nobody has been able to convince her to go home.”

If I was a better man, I would have had my dad tell her to go home. But I’m no good man. I want her here with me, even if she’s dead on her feet.

“We don’t do small talk. What are you doing here?”

Dad sucks in a breath, disappointed but attempting to hide it. “You could have died. I wanted to see you. Talk to you.”

“It took me getting stabbed for you to want to speak with me?”

“I’ve never not wanted to speak with you, Noah.”

I swallow a laugh. “You’ve gotten funnier over the past few years.”

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