Page 82 of Righteous Deceit

“Imagine being able to breatheproperlyfor the first time in your life,” I combat quietly. He doesn’t stop what he’s doing, but I know he’s listening. “Your lungs are finally opening wide enough to let in the life you were always supposed to live. Imagine your life being complete. Imagine having someone to share every high and low moment of your life with. Imagine the flutters you’ll feel in your heart when you’re reunited after a time apart, no matter how long or short. Imagine knowing that you only had a short period to enjoy and share your life with that person. How grateful you’d be for every moment. Imagine knowing that even after that person passed, someone loved you for theirwholelife. Imagine them living without you but not needing to search for love again because you loved them hard enough in life, and they know that no love would ever compare to what they shared with you.”

He stares at me blankly.

“You can look for the negatives, but that’s not what love is. Love has to be greater than fear. Otherwise, we’ll all end up alone.”

The buzz of his system booting up vibrates along the table, and I lift my arms to fold them into my lap.

“Maybe that’s how we’re supposed to be. We’re born alone. We die alone.”

I shake my head. “You’re not born alone. You’re nurtured inside another human willing to sacrifice a part of themselves to create you, and if you live your life right and find people to love and who love you in return, you don’t die alone. You die having brought others joy and happiness, which lives on forever.”

“You’re a romantic.”

I shrug. “Maybe.”

“Definitely.” He smiles, and it’s a pretty view.

“I’ll leave you to it. I’m going to call Salvatore and ask him how Amadeo went with the clean up. Then I will call CJ to have his IT department look into potential hacks.”

He clears his throat.

“What?”

“Nothing. Tell CJ I said hi.”

I frown at him, but I’ve already lost him to his laptops. His fingers fly across his keyboards, and then he’s talking on his phone. Seconds later, Lorenzo Caruso’s voice fills the room.

“Diego. Where the fuck have you been?”

“With Sia.”

“Bianchi said she was hurt.”

“You should see the other guy.”

His boss laughs, and pride blooms in my chest. He didn’t feel the need to speak of me like a victim. He took his boss’s concern, which was unnecessary, and made Caruso realize that. I didn’t get where I am by sheer luck. Sure, my family name means something in Chicago, but I’ve only succeeded in my rank with pure grit and my ability to compartmentalize trauma. Diego offered me affection and concern in private but gave me the same respect he’d show to his fellow soldiers in public.

Leaving him to discuss what he needs to with his sector, I move into my bedroom and call Salvatore. Our conversation is quick, with a promise that we’ll see each other the next day. Bodies were removed, and the forest has no active signs that three heinous murders took place. Lorenzo and Salvatore took it upon themselves to send the ringleader’s severed head and crushed skull to Oisin as a declaration of war, which I wish they would have discussed with Vincent or me first, but I don’t think anything would’ve changed their minds.

Next, I call CJ.

“Alessia, are you okay?” CJ’s concern leaks through the line.

I let my voice smile. “I’m unharmed.”

“Fuck,” he spits. “I’ve had my team going through our systems with a fine-tooth comb, but we can’t see any evidence of a breach.”

“Must be my personal emails, then.” I sigh. “I’ll get Diego to look into it.”

“Diego?” he questions. “He’s with you? Even after what happened?”

My lips turn down. “He had nothing to do with it.”

He scoffs. “You were wearing gold. You never wear gold.”

“CJ,” I scold. “The men who attacked us couldn’t give two shits what color I was wearing.”

“You wouldn’t have been hunting off-schedule if it weren’t for him,” he argues.

---