Page 66 of For Keeps. For Always.

“You clench every time I pull out,” he tells me. “Begging me for more.”

I swallow his words, knowing he’s right.

“Even when my heart is bleeding all over your tipped-up ass.”

I work to ignore the glisten of tears in his eyes.

“Even when your eyes arebeggingme to tell you I love you. Even when I deny you,” he whispers. “Your pussy begs for more.”

My chin wobbles.

“Your body knows how badly you want me, how fiercely you need me. Your mind is just too weak to take notice.”

My body spasms at the infliction in his tone.

His head shakes. “Fuck. You’re messed up, Henley.”

“I-I know,” I stutter.

“So come for me, baby. Make your pussy apologize for the way your heart tells me you don’t need me the way I need you.”

Squeezing my eyes shut, I come apart beneath him, letting my tears stream down my cheeks. I bite my lip, refusing to make a sound as I do as I’m told, and come.

He follows soon after, just as silently and just as broken.

Pulling out, he leaves me cold and alone as he moves to the bathroom to clean up. I use his absence to crawl into his bed, pulling myself under the covers to cry.

He joins me a minute or so later, shutting the room into darkness before settling beside me.

I open my mouth to speak but pause, afraid to talk.

He shifts in the bed, giving me his back.

“You’re punishing me.”

He knows it as well as I do. He’s overcome with frustration at my rejection.

“Just go to sleep, Henley.”

I should tell him I’m sorry.

I should demand the same from him.

BecauseI know. . . I know when the sun breaks in the morning, he’ll be gone, and my heart won’t just be splintered. It’ll be shattered beyond recognition, large Brooks-sized holes forever hindering the possibility of it ever being whole again.

He says he loves me, but then he leaves me.

How do you walk away from someone you love time and time again?

As I lie there, his body stretched out next to mine, close enough to touch, I think of all the times we’vealmostmade it, and it’s only when my eyelids become heavy that realization dawns.

He leaves the same way I do.

Out of necessity.

Because in the end, our individual desire to escape has been more important than our love.

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