Page 72 of Chloé

CHAPTERTHIRTEEN

I will hold her as long as she needs.

As long asIneed, too.

~ Ethan

CHLOÉ ESCAPED FROM the church as soon as she could. The air inside was suffocating, the pain in her chest close to unbearable. But if she’d had to stand there and smile at another person hugging her and telling her what a great man her pop had been, she just might’ve lost it.

She’d managed to keep it together for the most part, so far. But the second her dad had gotten up to give his eulogy, she knew she was a goner.

She’d always known how close they were, had watched the special bond between them her whole life, and seeing him up there trying to hold it together had been too much to bear.

All she’d wanted in that moment was to go to him, hold him, tell him it would be all right, just like he would for her. But she couldn’t do that. Because it would never be all right. His dad had died, and she couldn’t imagine how she would cope if the situation was reversed.

She raced down the side stairs of the church and across the lawn to the huge maple that stood protector of the parish, then braced her hand on the trunk of the tree and did her best to breathe. But the air kept getting caught around the lump in her throat.

She couldn’t do this. Didn’t know howanyonedid this. It felt as though the wound inside her would never heal. That she would never wake up again and feel…normal.

“Chloé?”

At the sound of Ethan’s voice, she quickly wiped at the tears that had fallen down her cheeks, not wanting to appear weak. The crunch of the grass and maple leaves under his feet spoke of his approach, and it was all Chloé could do not to run somewhere and hide. Not wanting him to see her like this.

“Chloé?” He was much closer now. So close that before she could even try to respond, she felt a gentle hand on her shoulder that made her jolt. “Hey. It’s okay. It’s just me.”

She blinked and nodded several times but didn’t dare lift her head, because if she did, she knew he would see her red eyes full of tears.

“I saw you run out here and just wanted to check on you.”

She bit down on her lip, doing her best to hold back the racking sob that wanted to escape, and Ethan stepped around in front of her. He hooked a gentle finger under her chin and raised her head, and when their eyes connected and she saw the compassion and understanding swirling in his, she finally lost it.

All of the heartbreak, pain, and sadness welled up inside of her and the floodgates opened, and the next thing she knew, she was in Ethan’s arms sobbing.

He wrapped them around her waist, drawing her in close, and Chloé looped hers around his neck and held on tight. She buried her face in his neck as the waves of grief slammed into her, and he ran a hand up and down the back of her dress, doing his best to soothe her.

“It’s okay,” she heard as he kissed the top of her head. “Let it out,petite fille. I’ve got you.”

His gentle words provided the safe space she needed to let go, and she held on to him like a lifeline as her emotions finally broke free.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there in his arms. It was like time had frozen and she was stuck in a perpetual loop of sadness. But when her eyes finally seemed incapable of any more tears, he pulled back, trailed his fingers down her arm, and took her hand.

He led her around the tree to a bench on the other side. “Sit down with me?”

She sniffed and nodded, then took the seat beside him. He pulled her in under his arm and held her tight.

They sat there like that for what seemed like hours, staring out at the blue sky above, and again Chloé thought the sunny day completely out of place.

“You were very brave back there,” Ethan finally said after what seemed like an eternity.

“Brave?” Chloé’s voice cracked under the strain of holding back her tears. “I don’t feel very brave. I ran away instead of standing by my family.”

“You didn’t run away—you just needed some space. Some air to breathe.” He ran his hand down the back of her hair. “I didn’t go to my parents’ funeral. But if I did, I’d like to think I would’ve been as brave as you.”

Chloé blinked and turned to face him, and the soft, sincere expression in his eyes made her tears well up again.

“I don’t know how you did it,” she said, shaking her head. “How you got through each day without them. How you dealt with this…this heartache. I loved my pop so much, but losing my parents? I can’t even imagine. Dad? He looks so broken.”

“Grief is a hell of a thing. It’s something we all eventually have to deal with and something we never think we can heal from. But eventually the sadness eases and the pain becomes more bearable, until one day you can think about the ones you lost and remember the good times.”

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