Page 85 of Home for the Holidays

“Not the advice I would have given you,” Iris said, “but I also have never seen you like this, so maybe this is what you needed?”

“To reconnect with the guy you fell for in high school,” Evan said with a grin. “It’s pretty unbelievable.”

“It’s fate.”

Heidi could feel Iris’s eyes on her, so she looked over at her.

“Fate brought us all here,” she said softly.

It took everything in Heidi to not devour her.

CHAPTERTHIRTY-EIGHT

After sleeping off and on for most of the afternoon, Iris was finally feeling as close to 100 percent as she had before the accident. Unfortunately, she couldn’t stop her mind from focusing on the sound of the tires. She wanted so badly to get the memory out of her head, but every time she closed her eyes, she heard it again.

When she woke from her last nap, Zac, Evan, and Heidi suggested a movie downstairs. Iris didn’t argue. She figured it’d get her mind off of things she didn’t want to think about anymore. There was something wonderful about being able to sit next to Heidi and not have to hide the fact that she was holding her hand while watchingThe Holiday. It was Zac’s pick, obviously, and Iris was not at all surprised when Heidi said she loved the movie. They were definitely mother and son. Iris wondered a few times how much more similar they could be.

“The tomato bisque you made for lunch was hands down the best soup I’ve ever had,” Iris said as she crawled onto Heidi’s bed. The dusk light was spilling in her bedroom windows. It seemed so much later than four o’clock. “And the grilled cheese with Havarti dill and balsamic-glazed arugula? Comeon.”

“I’m glad you have an appetite. The doctor said to keep an eye on you.”

“I have a feeling I’m always going to have an appetite for you.” She cringed. “I can’t believe I just said that.”

Heidi laughed. “You’re adorable, so I’ll allow it.”

“Whew.” She propped her head up and studied Heidi as she lay there, against the headboard,Lessons in Chemistryby Bonnie Garmus cracked open on her chest. “So I feel like I need to thank you for, y’know, taking me in during my hour of need.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” Heidi’s eyes seemed to search Iris’s for something, but what, Iris wasn’t sure. “I wanted so badly for you to stay. I would have picked an entirely different way for it to happen, of course. I thought…” She shook her head and closed her eyes. “I thought when we got the phone call that we were going to lose you.”

“I’m so sorry I left like that.” Iris slid her hand across the bed to Heidi’s leg. “I was in flight mode, for sure.”

“Next time, choose fight mode.”

“I’ll try,” she whispered. “It’s not always that easy, though. My first instinct is to run. Always has been.”

“And why’s that?”

Iris shrugged. “I’d love to say I have a specific reason, like, someone broke me, but I fear it’s ‘just because.’ I mean, I don’t understand why you wanted to risk everything with me. I’m nothing special.”

“Oh, Iris.” Heidi leaned forward after placing her book on the bedside table. “You are so much more than nothing special. How can you not see that?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Iris went to move off the bed, but Heidi grabbed her hand.

“Don’t. Don’t run.” She gripped her tightly.

In any other circumstance, Iris would have fought tooth and nail to be held like that. Where had the urge to fight being loved taken root? And why, after all these years, and two degrees in psychology, could she not pinpoint it?

“You are incredible, Iris Abbott. Everything about you. From the way you smile to the way you laugh, to the way you touch me and love me. You have made me feel like a human being again. Not some weird version of myself I barely recognize. I truly never thought I’d find this, this level of comfort mixed with elation, mixed with the desire to rip your clothes off in the very next breath.” Heidi smiled, and tears glimmered in her eyes. “I never thought I’d find you, and now? Now I’m never going to let you go. I promise, I will spend the rest of my life convincing you that you’re worth all of this. You’re enough. And you are my favorite thing that has happened to me.” She wiped at her tears with her free hand. “Aside from my kids, of course.”

Iris was crying now too. She slowly crawled up the bed until she was kneeling in front of Heidi. She placed her hands on her cheeks, leaned in, and kissed her. “I love you, Heidi Nowak. So very much.”

“God, Iris, I love you, too.”

Within seconds, Heidi’s hands were frantically searching for the hem of Iris’s sweatshirt. A frenzy of navy blue blocked Iris’s vision as the material was pulled over her head.

“Is this okay?” Heidi’s question was so sweet, so tender, as she looked into Iris’s eyes. “Do you feel good enough to do—”

“Yes, shut up,” Iris answered. She lunged forward, hands on Heidi’s face, lips on Heidi’s lips, tongue in Heidi’s mouth. The desire to have all of this woman was so strong. She had to keep reminding herself that she could savor every second. She could take her time, taste every flavor, feel every touch, smell every scent, hear every sound, see every single inch of this woman’s beautiful body.

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