Shit. “You promised you could handle this.”

“I know.”

“Then what happened?”

“You happened, Heidi. You did.” Sandy shrugged. “I’ve loved you since day one. When you were straight as an arrow.”

Loved? Shit, shit, shit.“Sandy, I can’t talk about this here. And you and me? I’ve already told you… This is all so new for me.”

Sandy took a deep breath and held it for a good three seconds before she released it. “I know. I’m sorry. I’m gonna go.”

Heidi placed her hand on Sandy’s arm as she reached for the doorknob. “I know I’m busy, but I’ll try to come see you this week, okay?”

“Okay.”

“I’m sorry I can’t give you what you want.”

Sandy hesitated, worrying her lip in thought before saying, “Can you tell me why?”

How was she supposed to tell her it was because she just didn’t love her like that? She had tried, but she couldn’t get there. Being honest with herself about liking women was so new. And Sandy was her oldest friend. For whatever reason, falling for her oldest friend didn’t jive with her.

“Sandy…”

But Sandy held up a quick hand. “Message received.” She shrugged. “I’ll be okay.”

And she pulled the door open and left, leaving Heidi standing there feeling like she’d had the wind knocked out of her. She needed to get herself together. Finally admitting that she was into women was new, yes, but that didn’t mean she got to be an asshole to her best friend. She should have never started things with Sandy. She had told her it was a bad idea. She had told her there was no way it would end well. Sandy’s begging and not taking no for an answer had worn her down. Heidi should have found someone else to explore this new terrain with, but she hadn’t, and now she was realizing too late that ruining her best friendship had not only been irresponsible, but a really awful thing to do.

“Hey,” Donna said as she appeared in the doorway of the meeting room. “Buck up, kiddo. Don’t let it get to you.”

“Donna,” Heidi whispered, trying to hide the emotion in her voice.

“Yes, I figured it out, my dear.” She reached out and clasped Heidi’s left hand. “I’ve known for averylong time.”

Heidi gripped her hand back. “You have?”

“Longer than you, I’m sure,” she said through her raspy laugh. “Sandy will be okay. You need to do what’s best for you—and no one else. Well, and what’s best for me. I’m not getting a new job at seventy years old, ya hear?”

Heidi laughed softly. “Thank you, Donna,” she said.

Donna squeezed her hand again before she walked away, shouting over her shoulder, “Now get to work!”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“And don’t forget to smile.”

“Absolutely.” Heidi sighed as she plastered a fresh one on her face.

Smile, smile, smile.

It was all she knew how to do these days.

CHAPTERFOUR

“Wait a second… we’re flyingfirst class?” Iris ripped the paper boarding pass out of Zac’s hand as they passed the gate attendant. “You probably should have led with that. I would have relented a lot sooner.”

“Oh yeah, my mom spares no expense. She also knew it’d be a lot easier to get me on a plane if she didn’t put me back in coach.”

“The only Coach you like is the purse, right?”