Page 70 of Home for the Holidays

But in what world would Zac actually be okay with it? Did that world exist? She had found out so much about him in the past three days. He was much closer to his family than he had led her to believe. That was a lie by omission, wasn’t it? And this relationship with Evan? That was definitely a lie by omission. Or was it simply Zac keeping something to himself? At the very least, it was something he wasn’t comfortable sharing. She wasn’t comfortable sharing her relationship with Heidi, so why wouldn’t that be okay?

She laughed as she stared out the window.Stop trying to lie your way out of this, Iris.

Going on seventy-two hours in Vale Park, and her entire world had been rearranged.

For someone who had spent her entire adult life avoiding falling in love, how was it possible that she had fallen so quickly for Heidi? She barely knew her. And Heidi wasn’t someone she should be looking at, let alone sleeping with. But something about Heidi’s presence, her voice, her touch, calmed Iris in a way she could barely grasp. Her heart would beat rapidly, yes. Her hands would shake, sure. Her stomach would fill with butterflies like a lovesick asshole, of course. But the parts of her that had never been cast in a role when it came to the story of romance in her life had started to play a part. Like the part of her brain that actually felt happiness. Or the part of her heart that felt excited to beat rapidly instead of the dread that normally accompanied the quickened rate. She was ready for this. And that was maybe the scariest part about all of it. Because she had never been ready before. Now here she was… ready… with her best friend’s mom.

“I could certainly get used to waking up to this,” Heidi said softly as she came into Iris’s view.

And the rest of Iris’s life started to flash before her eyes. Heidi in the mornings. Heidi making breakfast. Heidi having coffee with her. Heidi, Heidi, Heidi… She stood in front of Iris and leaned her backside against the bay window. Her red robe was cinched tight. Her hair was down, natural waves surrounding her face.

God, she looks incredible.

“Hi,” Iris murmured. She braced herself to grapple with some conflicting emotions, but nothing came up. Nothing but a sense of calm. The onslaught of nervousness and fear that she had assumed she’d feel when she saw Heidi that morning was not there. Instead, her heart seemed to almostsmile. The internal groan she made over that stupid romantic thought was almost deafening.

Heidi crossed her left leg over her right, folded her arms across her chest, and smiled. “Think we should have a conversation today?”

“Us? Or with Zac?”

“I don’t need to talk to you about us,” she said. “I already know you are who I want.”

“Even though he’s going to flip out?”

She nodded. “I have never felt like this before.”

“Me either, Heidi. Ever.” She shrugged. “And because it’s you, it means I shouldn’t be happy? Is that what the world has decided for me? For us? I just…” Iris paused, stared back down at her coffee, and took a deep breath. “I don’t know if I want to skip out on happiness because—”

“Because I’m your best friend’s mom.”

She looked at Heidi, at her crooked smile and the way her glasses weren’t sitting perfectly straight on her face, and her heart fucking smiled again. “Precisely.”

“I’ll tell you what.” Heidi squatted down in front of Iris, knees popping, and held her hands. “I’ve spent most of my life doing the proper thing. Or at least what society thinks is the proper thing. And I have never been truly happy. I’m too old to keep myself in a box. I want to live outside of the box, wholly and with enthusiasm. You and me? We might not be anything more than a fleeting relationship that happened because we were both stuck. But we could also be what we’ve both been looking for. And not going for it? Not allowing ourselves to be happy, to love and feel loved, to live our own fucking lives without anyone else’s input?” Heidi’s eyes were filled with tears now, and Iris had to force herself to not kiss her. “I just know I will regret it for the rest of my life.”

“Mom?”

Heidi’s eyes widened as she stood up, dropping Iris’s hands in the process. “Zac, baby, hi. Merry Christmas.”

Iris couldn’t feel anything. Her legs had gone numb. She blinked once, twice, three times, hoping it would snap her out of the daze she was in.

“What are you doing?” Zac moved quickly into the living room. “What is going on?”

“Zac, wait, I can explain.” Iris still couldn’t move, though, so standing was not an option. “Nothing is going on.”

“No, I saw…” Zac shook his head. “Why were you holding Iris’s hands?”

Heidi attempted to answer. “I was, I mean, I, she was telling me about you—”

“Iris? About me? You promised you’d let me tell her.” Zac’s shoulders fell.

The relief that flooded through Iris’s entire body, coupled with sheer terror at the idea of Zac thinking she’d been a bad friend, spurred her legs to work again. She rushed over to him. “Zac, wait, I didn’t tell her.”

“No, I already knew. I’ve known for years,” Heidi said.

“You already knew?”

“Yes, honey. I did.” She approached Zac, and Iris moved to one side to make room for her. “Why do you think I invited Evan over?”

“Ma…” His voice cracked.

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