Page 73 of Home for the Holidays

“Stanley.” She glared at him. “It’s so important to your future that you do not finish that sentence.”

“Yeah, you’re right. It’s hot.” He fanned his face for a few seconds. “Sweltering.” He raised his brows and gave her hisIs that better?face before muttering, “I’m a little disappointed. You tell meeverything.”

“This wasn’t something I was ready to talk about.” She mimicked him, leaning against the desk so their sides were touching. “It was a thousand years ago when I…y’know… with Eloise. Then, when we got divorced, it didn’t feel resolved, so I decided to go to therapy. Imagine that.”

“I kept telling you—”

“Stanley, I swear to the newborn baby Jesus that you better not finish that sentence either.”

“Sorry,” he said with a soft chuckle.

“You know how it is. I had to figure shit out. And Sandy wanted to help, so I let her.” She sighed. “Istupidlylet her. And now she’s ready to give up everything to be with me. God, Stanley, she’s not who I want to end up with.”

“So you just like fucking her.” He let out a laugh when she smacked his leg. “What? Am I wrong?”

“Actually, no. I don’t even like fucking her. It’s just become this thing that ends up happening.” She closed her eyes, the memory of Eloise as present as ever. “You know Paris messed me up. I wanted it tofixus, and I think, ultimately, it brokeme.”

“I know.” He reached over and took her hand in his. “I know.”

“And you, I love you so much.” She was crying now.Great. Just what she needed. “I don’t want our kids to hate me. Especially Adrien and Zac. I was so purposeful with them both. I was so afraid of them being different. I wanted them to live such full lives and not be constantly afraid of who they were. And they both turned out just like the two of us.” She wiped at her eyes with her free hand. “I feel like an awful parent. I screwed our kids up because I was so afraid of who I am, of who you are.”

“Honey,” he said softly. He released her hand and pulled her into him, his arm around her shoulder. “You are a great mom. We’re all screwed up. Every single one of us. And you figuring yourself out so late in life means you put everyone before yourself.”

“So late in life?” She let out a chuckle that was coated in tears. “I’m fifty-three, not a hundred and nine.”

He laughed, as did she. “You know what I mean, Heidi. I wish you could see how remarkable you are. You’ve never been able to see it. You’re always the one in the background thinking you don’t matter when, in actuality, you matter more than anyone else.”

“Stanley…”

“You’re simply stunning, my love.” He moved so he was facing her, and he gently lifted her chin so she was looking at him. His eyes held all of his sincerity, always, but they did so now more than ever. “You are going to find someone who sees what I have always seen.”

“Stanley?”

“Hmm?”

“I think I have.”

“Not with Sandy?”

She shook her head.

“Then with wh—oh my god.” He pursed his lips. “You can’t be serious.Iris? Your son’s fake girlfriend? Are you joking?”

She shook her head.

“Oh, Heidi.” He breathed in through his nose, a move that meant one thing and one thing only. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

She nodded.

“And I invited Sandy over, who has always been in love with you.” Stanley had his hands on his hips now as he started to pace the small office. “Damage control. We need damage control.”

“You’re not mad at me?”

“What? Why?” He spun around. “Mad at you? I would never be mad at you. Even if it is sort of, well, y’know, forbidden.”

Her shoulders sagged. “I know. God, I know. I’ve never felt like this before. Not with you. Sorry.” She shrugged. “And not with Eloise.”

Stanley’s face softened. “Okay, then we’ll figure this out.”

---