Page 48 of Home for the Holidays

She pulled a face at her friend’s antics. “Seriously, Stace? Now is not the time to try and be funny.”

“Yikes!Try?Tryand be funny? I do nottry, honey. Iamfunny. Period.” Stacey narrowed her eyes. “Okay, what’s going on? You look like you’re having a midlife crisis about ten years too early.”

“I guess that’s one way of putting it.”

Stacey moved her phone to make sure her entire face was in the picture. “Are you okay?”

Iris felt the tears before she even realized she was crying. “I don’t know.” She wiped at her face with her free hand. “I am having a nervous breakdown, I think. But, like,me? Having a breakdown? What the fuck is going on with me?”

Stacey’s puff of air was perfectly timed. “I have no idea, which is why I asked. Tell me what happened. Clearly something did.”

“Oh, Stacey, what hasn’t happened?” Iris sighed. “I went to dinner last night with Zac and Evan, who is like Zac’s ex-boyfriend from high school, but no one knew they were into each other, according to Zac, who freaked out on Evan and completely ditched him after their first kiss.”

“What the hell Hallmark movie set have you wandered onto? I swear.”

“A bad one,” she deadpanned. “So I leave them—because why would I want to be the third wheel on that date? Even though it’s not a date because Zac is ‘straight’ and no one knows, except everyone fucking knows. His brothers know. His mom knows. Everyone knows.”

“Wait, how’d you find out everyone knows?”

“Well, his brothers essentially told me. And then…” Iris groaned. “After I left dinner, I went to a bar to have a drink, and I ran into his mom.”

“You mean his MILF.”

“I swear to Christ, Stacey, do you want me to confide in you or not?” Iris glared into her phone and watched as Stacey zipped her lips and threw away the key. “So, anyway, I had drinks with his mom. With Heidi.”

“Her name is Heidi?”

Iris sighed. “Yeah.”

“That was a dreamy sigh.”

“Your lips are supposed to be closed, you jerk. But yeah, I had drinks with her, and we had such a great time talking and laughing, which is not good.”

“Wait. Why is it bad that you had drinks with this woman? Are you not allowed to be near her because you screwed her in the bathroom? Does Zac know that, by the way?”

Iris huffed. “Seriously, Stacey, what the hell do you think?”

“I’d hope not, but who knows at this point?”

That got a laugh out of Iris. “Well, either way, I’m going to fuck up my friendship with Zac.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I kissed Heidi again about an hour ago.”

“Ho-ho-ho,” Stacey chuckled.

Iris’s brow creased. “What do I do, Stacey? I am so confused.”

It was remarkable how Stacey could turn on a dime from “Kidding Around” mode to “I’m a Therapist for a Living” mode. “Do you want me to sugarcoat it or give it to you straight?”

“Straight.”

“You gotta stop.” Stacey’s face twisted. “I’m sorry, but you do. This woman is off-limits. Unless you ask Zac and he says go for it, which isn’t—”

“Isn’t going to happen. I know.”

Stacey’s eyes softened. “I love you, Iris. You know that, right?”

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