Page 28 of Home for the Holidays

“Because I thought you had some awful relationship with your mom, but it turns out she’s fucking awesome, and you two are thick as thieves.”

“Wait,” he said quickly. “She’s notawesome.”

Iris scoffed.Well, she’s an awesome fucking kisser.

“And we are not thick as thieves.”

“You are making no sense to me, Zac,” she said a little too loudly. She froze and gathered her thoughts. She was all over the place. Mentally. Physically. Emotionally. How was she ever going to tell him what had happened? That she met his mom already and shelovedit? She couldn’t. Not now. Not ever. He would never understand. Especially because of how he was placing her on this pedestal. “Maybe I’m upset,” she quietly ventured, “because I think you’re ashamed of who you are. Is that it? I’m sorry to say, but it’s the only thing that makes sense.”

He swallowed, the gulping sound much more pronounced than normal. He nodded finally, and his eyes filled with tears.

“Oh, Zac,” she whispered as she rushed over to him. “Honey, you are so wonderful. Why haven’t you told me this before? I would have worked overtime to show you how incredible you are. You deserve so much more than this, than being trapped by your own inability to see the beauty of who you are.”

He wiped at his eyes and his nose before he said softly, “I hate myself. I hate everything about myself. Josh ruined me. He promised me so much and then, after a month, found someone else. Tyler screwed me up before that. Alyssa, shit, I don’t even count that as a relationship, but even my one time with a girl, and she told me I’d never amount to anything. I move from person to person, and I’m constantly left brokenhearted. I even screwed up with Evan in high school. In high school, Iris. My inability to like myself stretches all the way back to then. How pathetic.”

“Therapy,” Iris whispered. “Go to fucking therapy.” She laughed gently as she patted Zac on the back. “How many times have I told you I can give you a referral? You are a fucking mess, my dude.”

“I know. God, I know. I’m just so stuck.” He sighed deeply. “I know she’s not going to hate me. I so badly wanted to make her proud, though.”

“Oh my god,” Iris said softly. “You have so many friends and so much happiness in your life. I know you haven’t found your person yet, but you aren’t a failure. She’s obviously proud of you. Did you see her face when she saw you? I’ve never seen a person be that happy to see someone before.”

He shrugged. “So you want me to break up with you and tell her?”

Iris laughed. “I love you. So much.” She patted his legs. “When the time is right, you do what you need to do. But you have to stop thinking she’s going to disown you. Because she absolutely is not. She loves you. That much is blatantly clear.” She stood and held out her hand for him to grab. “C’mon, let’s go back downstairs before they think we’re up here having sex.”

“I love you,” he said as he gripped her hand. “Like a lot. You know that, right?”

“I do. Don’t lie to me again, though.”

She was such a hypocrite. She stood and grabbed Zac’s hand, pulling him downstairs so they could hang with his family. The weight lifting from her shoulders was intense. Maybe she wouldn’t have to keep this charade up for much longer. That would be phenomenal. She had enjoyed meeting all of his family, but pulling the wool over their eyes wasn’t sitting well with her. Especially since they had all admitted they were shocked Zac had brought home a woman.

If only they knew that she, too, was, y’know, part of the family, so to speak.

And completely enamored with their mom.

Ugh.

Merry fucking Christmas.

* * *

Meeting Karenand Nora was exactly what Iris needed. She loved kids, so having a little one running around made her feel so much more at ease. Nora was absolutely adorable, with short, curly, blonde hair. She dressed like a tomboy, and she had the cutest dimples. She took instantly to Iris, grabbing her by the hand and leading her to the living area, where she turned on the TV and asked her to put onMickey’s Christmas Carol. Iris was already powerless to Nora’s charms.

After she’d cued up the movie, she sat on the couch, Nora in her lap, and Maddie sleeping peacefully on the floor in front of the couch. Nora kept reciting the lines, which made Iris giggle.

“You’ve seen this a few times, hmm?”

“Yes, but next we have to watchEmmet Otter, okay?” Nora was very verbose, and it made Iris like her even more. They’d already had in-depth conversations about the solar system, the dinosaurs, andFinding Nemo. Not Dory. Nemo. And she made sure to ask if Iris was a Disney fan. It was clear that, if not, Nora was going to be suspicious.

Her mother, Karen, who was absolutely what Iris had pictured, with beautiful blonde hair and blue eyes, was so happy that there was another girl in the family now. Iris bit her tongue and acted just as thrilled about Karen’s presence. She didn’t have the heart to tell her that she wouldn’t be in the family for long. As soon as Zac okayed the big break-up scene, that would be it. Or maybe they wouldn’t have to break up. Maybe he could come out and solve everything. It wouldn’t be awkward for her then. At least, she hoped it wouldn’t be.

“It’s easy to forget that you’resupposedto be here, y’know what I mean?” Karen had asked as they sat at the dining room table, getting to know each other. “My first couple of years, I felt like I was—”

“An intruder?”

“Yes.” Karen laughed. “Exactly.”

With two o’clock right around the corner, Iris was getting more and more excited to meet Evan. Before Nora confiscated her, Iris had made Zac find a yearbook and show her a picture of him. Evan was a jock, the high school quarterback, and severely in the closet. Obviously. He was not who she pictured Zac with, but there were more than a few pictures of them together in the yearbook, so they must have hung out quite a bit before their falling-out.

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