Page 126 of Bide

He says nothing either.

I take it back, I take it back, I take it back.

Slowly, Jackson gets to his feet and crosses the room towards me. Rough hands cup my face, forcing my gaze from his chest to his face. “If you want me to stay, I need you to tell me.”

Not a single word leaves my lips.

It'll be easier this way,I tell myself. If he walks away because I pushed him. If he walks away before I hurt him. If he walks away because I told him to and not because he wants to.

Utter defeat twists his face and crushes my chest. “Okay,” he breathes shakily, dropping his hands. “I'm done fighting with you, Lu.” My eyes drift shut as his lips brush my cheek for what I can't help but think is the last time. “Please take care of yourself.”

I keep my eyes screwed shut as he walks away, leaving my heart on the floor behind him.

AFTER

It might take a year,

it might take a day,

but what’s meant to be will always find a way.

PLAYLIST III

Billie Eilish - TV

About You - The 1975

Too Well - Reneé Rapp

The Gold - Phoebe Bridgers

More Fun To Miss - Daisy Jones & The Six

Back To December - Taylor Swift

Dunno - Mac Miller

Liar - Paramore

ceilings - Lizzy McAlpine

Big Black Car - Gregory Alan Isakov

37

LUNA

“Fuck.”

The guy underneath me grunts as I climb off him and flop in the passenger seat of his car. I only take a second to regain my breath before I start fixing myself up; I want to get out of here before the foggy windows start drawing attention.

And his heavy panting is starting to annoy me.

A welcome lick of cold January air cools my sweaty skin as he momentarily gets out, presumably to dispose of the condom. When he settles beside me again, slamming the door behind him, I wince.

Too loud. Too much attention-drawing potential.

A hand paws the back of my head. “Did you come?”

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