Page 15 of A Thin Line Between Love and Hate

My mother grabs my hand and pulls me away, but my heart beats erratically. How is it I didn’t know? Fuck, I’ll never get rid of this motherfucker.

7

XANDER

Each new lawyer is paired with another newbie, and Micah requested me since he arrived at the firm first. And thank fuck I’m not with the motherfucker Clark Farmer. Asshole. We’re in different departments. He deals with overseas corporate law, and I’m on the domestic side. We barely see one another, which is unusual compared to the past eighteen years.

I had no idea that he was going into corporate law. Sure, most of his concentration was on the corporate side. My one deal with my father was that I’d pursue corporate law, a better way to prepare myself for the company. I never wanted to be under my father’s thumb twenty-four hours a day, and somehow, he’s allowing me ten years at this prestigious firm, which happens to be a part of my dad’s outside legal counsel. I’m sure all it took was a phone call from Lyle Lynol, but I’d been offered many jobs—and even with my father’s influence, which I didn’t want— I could have landed this job easily. If Clark Farmer was offered a position, I sure as fuck deserved one, too.

My first choice was London, not because of the city or being farther from my dad, but because David took a position of a lifetime, one he couldn’t squander. I wanted to go. I should have gone. I won’t find another like him, but he knew in the seven years we were together that my word to my father, which I take seriously, would keep me in Minnesota. I’d promised to be close enough to work at the company on my own time, when I’m not at the firm. I thought about breaking my promise to the dickhead, but I’m a man of my word. I miss David, and I understood when I chose to honor my commitment to my dad and not follow David I’d never get another chance with him again. There will never be another David, but it’s not like I have time to date anyway.

I wouldn’t put it past my father to have separated us. David wasn’t from old money. He wasn’t from anything but a very loving family. It didn’t matter that David’s dad worked two jobs to put him through his undergrad, and they took the bus, a twenty-nine-hour drive from North Carolina to Connecticut for his graduation. Or that his mama is the bee’s knees of mamas, just after my mother. Or that they loved me like their son. Social status meant nothing to them, but it meant everything to my father.

Did I love David enough? It sure as fuck hurts, even after a year. But I want to think if I truly loved him, I’d walk away from everything to be with him.

There’s a knock on my door, and I shift my attention to it as the person doesn’t wait for me to reply. “Hey, Xan, you have a second?”

The voice sets me off. Oh, fuck does it set me off. And he calls me Xan to simply fuck with me.

“Farmer, you’re out of your own little element.” It’s not lost on the senior partners of our hatred for one another. They sat us down within a week of our hiring date, clear that they’d not put up with anything other than professionalism. “What’s up?”

“Yeah, sorry to disturb you, but I needed to chat with you about something of a personal matter. Is now a good time? Or I can come back.”

I’d love to tell him to make an appointment with my secretary, but that only breaks our somewhat peaceful treaty.

“Sure, Farmer, I have five minutes.”

He sits without an invitation, making himself too cozy in my office.

“I’m going to preface this by saying I’m sorry to involve you in whatever this is, and my mother has no idea I’m coming to you for help.”

His mother? Then it means it has something to do withmy mother, and I drop my pen to the desk, and he now has my full attention.

“My dad mentioned last night that Ma has been trying to get ahold of Liz for some time. Three days is too long for those two. However, Dad made it seem like it’s been weeks?”

This is news to me. It’s been a while since I’ve spoken to her, too. “Yeah, you’re right. My mom and yours don’t go a day without chatting. Let me look into it, and I’ll get back to you.” He stands, and as he opens the door, I realize he’s done me a favor. If something is wrong with my mother, I need to know.

“And, Farmer.” He stops and turns his head, that stupid long hair blocking his line of sight.

“Yeah?”

“Thanks for letting me know.”

He gives me a tight smile. “Sure, no problem.”

The door isn’t closed when I hit my mother’s number. It goes straight to voice mail. As unfortunate as it’ll be, I call my father, and when he doesn’t answer, no surprise there, I try his secretary.

“Lyle Lynol’s office. This is Crystal, how can I help you?” Dad’s secretaries get younger each year, and the extra credit they receive is no secret to my mom or me. This girl sounds fifteen.

“Hi, this is Xander Lynol, Mr. Lynol’s son. It’s an emergency, and I must speak with my dad right now.”

There’s a lull on her end. “I’m sorry, Mr. Lynol. Your father has asked to be left alone for the next hour. Absolutely no one is to get through.”

My father has never had my mother or me on his emergency contacts. We’ve had to wait for him every single time. Right now, I won’t.

“I know you’re just following my father’s instructions, but this is an emergency, and I need him in this moment.” The word fuck is about to tumble from my mouth, but I’ll lose any favor my very heartfelt plea may get me.

“Okay, Mr. Lynol. I’ll let him know.” The elevator music fills the line as she places me on hold. I wait less than a minute and hear someone return to the line.

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