Page 69 of These Rough Waters

Don’t get me wrong, everyone liked being taken care of, I was no different, despite the last 5 years of isolation but there was a difference between doing it because you want to and doing it because that’s what you have been trained to do.

It isn’t her job to look after me.

But I was making it my job to look after her.

I think of the words I wanted to tell her earlier, when I was buried in her tight body, her hands clinging to me as she held on as if afraid that if she lets go, I’ll be gone. She was scared of this.

So was I, but since that night at the cabin I’ve realized how much I was simply surviving. How I’d allowed my heart to ice over.

I may have been a feared assassin, taking my job to new heights in my prime but I was a sucker for the damn organ that beats inside my chest. It’s how I fell hard and fast for Grace.

And since I lost her, the past five years has been me hiding from those emotions.

I didn’t deserve Maya but fuck if I wasn’t going to take her anyway.

“This town is still as dreary as it was the last time,” Rett complains, sipping on the whiskey he’d pulled from the top shelf.

“Hey, boat leaves first thing, hop on it.” I say but don’t mean the words.

“So, you can get your pretty Maya all alone?”

I roll my eyes, “Speaking of, you can make yourself scarce, her and Harper are coming for dinner.”

He scoffs, “Absolutely not.”

“Rett,” I grunt.

“What? That kid loves me! Maybe even more than she loves you. I’ll be replacing you as her best friend in no time.”

“You want an eight-year-old as a friend, Rett?”

“Eight-year-olds are better company than most people in this world, big brother.”

Couldn’t argue with that.

“If you stay then keep your mouth shut.”

“About what exactly?” He presses, “The fact that she’s hiding something from you? Or maybe it’syourpast that would be the sore spot in the conversation? Does she know you used to kill people for a living? Or that you were married?”

“Do you live just to piss me off?”

“Yes,” Rett answers immediately, “Yes, I do. But please enlighten me, how do you expect this relationship to go when neither of you are honest?”

“Well since the last relationship you had was when you were twelve and it wasn’t even a relationship, I’m not likely to take advice from you.”

Rett pouts and then downs the contents of his drink, “Tonight should be fun.”

She doesn’t arrive.

We had agreed to six pm, but that has come and gone and a glance at the clock shows it to be a quarter past ten.

I didn’t have hope she was coming, and I held off going after her but now worry was eating at me.

“Stood up, old man,” Rett laughs, “How does that feel?”

“Shut up, Rett.” I growl, looking across the way to where her cabin stands still and dark. “I’m going over there.”

“That’ll look a little obsessive, don’t ya think? You’re fucking, not married.”

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