Page 44 of These Rough Waters

“I can’t.” She whimpers, licking across my bottom lip before she presses the fullness of her mouth against me.

“Yes, you can.”

“No,” she tilts her head and kisses me deeper, pulling me closer with the fingers curled into my shirt. “I can’t.”

“Let it go,” I gently order, “Let it all go. Be here with me.”

“It’s not that simple.”

“You have no idea,” I growl, cupping her face, “You have no damn idea how not simple it is. Butthis.Thisis fucking simple.”

“You don’t like me, Torin.”

I chuckle at her words.

I don’t like her.

That’s not true. I didn’t like how she came waltzing in and completely upturned my whole world, how she commanded my attention, and consumed my mind. How she made me forget the grief and the pain and the loss like that shit was easy. How she made me forget everything I had done this past five years.

How she piqued my curiosity enough that I couldn’t not investigate, how I couldn’t not see that damn flush on her cheeks or go crazy wondering how her mouth would feel.

Even with nothing on her, no story, no past or history, I wanted her.

I wanted to know how her body would feel, how her flesh may yield under my hands, how she sounds when she moans my name. I wanted to know every inch of her, I wanted it imprinted on my brain like a brand and buried in my soul so far there would be no digging it out.

I wanted Maya. Every inch of her, secrets and all.

Twenty-One

He stares down at me, a fire burning hot and bright, burning me from within.

And I can’t handle it.

“I’m sorry,” I rush out before I slip from his grasp and dart for the door, hearing him call my name as I emerge back into the chaotic folds of the festival, loud music and cheers overpowering the heavy thump of my heart. I find Imogen talking animatedly to a diner regular and rejoin her behind the stall. I was so utterly grateful for her invitation to help her out today, just so I could get out of my own head and it was working… until it wasn’t.

I couldn’t get Torin out of my head. Couldn’t stop seeing him behind my eyes and that was so dangerous. I couldn’t do this again.

And it wasn’t that I thought Torin was like the man I was running from, not at all, but I trusted him to begin with. Fell in love with him too.

I was so blinded by it I missed every red flag and somehow got stuck. For nearly nine damn years.

And yeah, I was young when I met him, completely naïve and I’ve grown since then, but it still took years to get out.

I knew a long time ago that the situation I was in would get me killed one day, but it took getting beaten so badly my heart stopped beating that forced me to go. It was always, I’ll do it tomorrow, I can’t do it yet because he’ll find me, he’ll hurt me or Harper and we’d be stuck all over again. I stopped loving my ex so long ago I can’t even remember when it happened, but no one told me how hard it would be to leave.

“You okay?” Imogen touches my shoulder, startling me from my thoughts.

Clearing my throat, I nod, “Yeah sorry, zoned out for a minute there.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Her brows draw down as she glances at the diner and then across the street. I follow her eyes to find Torin leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his thick chest. His ball cap was pulled low over his eyes, but I knew they were on me.

I think I’d know even if I couldn’t see him.

“Did something happen?” Imogen points back to the diner, “I saw Tor come out after you.”

“No!” I blurt too quickly.

Her eyes drop to mouth before narrowing, likely spotting the lie with my kiss swollen mouth.

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