Page 78 of These Rough Waters

I knew there was going to be a lot to discuss, knew I couldn’t hide it from him any longer and though I trusted him with my secret, I didn’t want Torin to look at me like a victim. Like a scared or lost girl. I’d escaped and I’d done it on my own. I wasn’t weak. What I had done for me, and my daughter was strong. I knew this.

But still, I was terrified that he could think differently of me.

“You want us to come in?” Torin pauses outside the lodge, cocking his head as he looks down at me, a softness entering his eyes.

“No,” I say, “I’ll only be a few minutes.”

I feel the both of them watching me as I leave them outside and head in, the warmth of the lodge enveloping me and the smell of fresh bread and coffee making my stomach grumble, reminding me I needed to eat soon.

“Well good morning, sweetness,” The kind old woman greets with a bright smile and a twinkle to her dark eyes. I scan her sweet face, at the years lining her skin with laughter lines around her mouth and creases at her eyes where her face lifts with her smile. Ruthie was the epitome of a good person, of someone who had bucket loads of compassion and enough fierceness to keep the ones she loves safe.

Something in my face must tip her off that I wasn’t here for a morning coffee and chat like I’d done so many times before.

“Maya, babe, what’s wrong?”

“If something were to happen to me,” I lean against a free table, crossing my arms as if to stop the blooming ache forming in my chest. The idea of not being around for Harper scared the shit out of me but I would sooner save her than myself. “Would you take care of Harper?”

“What happened?” Her eyes widen, and she drops the towel she had in her hands to rush over, hands coming to the tops of my arms in a soothing motion.

“Nothing,” I lie, “But I’m sure you’ve guessed I ran from a dangerous past.”

She sighs, “I figured as much, sweetness, the bruises and the refusal to tell me your name or let me put your name on our system was enough of a sign.”

I nod. “Well, I just want to make sure if something happens, Harper will be taken care of. I’d rather it be me than her and I won’t let her go back there.”

“Maya, you’re scaring me, did something happen? Have you been found?”

“I don’t know,” I stifle the whimper that wants to escape with a sob, my eyes stinging, “I don’t know and that scares me. I don’t know how he would have found me but if he has, I can’t let him take my daughter.”

“And what about you? You would just go with him?”

“If it means keeping her safe, yes.”

“And you think her father will just leave without her?”

I look down at my feet, “It was always about control with him, when I got pregnant with Harper, he saw it as another way to keep me on a leash. As long as he has me, he won’t care about her. She was never his target.”

“Oh sweetness,” Ruthie whispers, a single tear tracking down her cheek. “And Torin?”

My eyes jump up to hers.

“Don’t be acting a fool, Maya, I’m not blind.”

“How?”

“I see the way that man watches you when we’re all in the same room. Everyone is a threat, and he never loses track of you or your daughter. I’ve also seen him sneaking over to the cabin every night for the past god knows how long.”

“He doesn’t know yet.”

“But you’ll tell him?”

“Today,” I nod. “And Everett.”

“While I won’t comment on that delinquent of a brother of his, Torin is a good man. He has his own demons and a past. Don’t let it scare you, Maya. Torin is good.”

“I know he is,” I sigh, “But I need you to promise, Ruthie? Please.”

“Nothing is going to happen to you, Maya,” Ruthie says fiercely, “Nothing.”

---