Page 48 of These Rough Waters

I supposed it was a little bit of luck I had succeeded this time round. He’d come home drunk the week before I ran, angry and upset at something one of his men had done and the only solution for him was to take out that anger on me. I was so used to it I expected it, and I’d hid Harper in the closet in preparation for it.

And he came at me hard. Every time before was brutal but this time, I truly believed he wanted to stop my heart that day and he did. I know one of his men had stayed with me, had been there when I closed my eyes after the attack.

My heart stopped beating or so the paramedics say.

It was Trevor’s man who got me the help I needed. And once I was able to stand up on my own, I discharged myself from the hospital without telling anyone, snuck back into the house I shared with him and took all the money I could find before I ran, and I didn’t stop until I climbed onto that boat with the bruises still on my face and the marks on my body.

I shiver just remembering the attack, how relentless he was, how enraged. I take the next step, trying to push it away.

So why couldn’t I take something I wanted?

Why couldn’t I let a man who clearly wanted me, have me and let it be on my terms? Torin wasn’t him, was he? And it didn’t need to be anything other than sex. I wouldn’t fall in love again; I’d guard my heart but there was no denying how much I was attracted to the grumpy fisherman.

I take the next step up, holding onto a branch for this particularly steep incline as I recall the feel of his hands, his mouth, feeling the heat of it through my body, enough to rival the cold biting at me. I brace my foot and heave myself up, slipping a little on the rock but manage to catch myself and I’m about to take the next step when the first drops of rain fall.

“Shit,” I hiss, staring up the incline and then down, maybe it’ll be a short rain spell?

I pause, feeling each icy drop of rain as it falls but it doesn’t slow down, no, before I can even blink, the clouds unleash a sheet of rain. “Double shit.” Right up ahead there was a thick pine, I could crawl under it to save myself from getting wet. I was in thermals, and they were waterproof, but I doubted they’d stay that way for long in this weather, and the last thing I wanted was to get cold while I was wet. Not in these temperatures, it would surely be a death sentence.

But the ground was now slippery, the rocks slick with water so I couldn’t exactly move quickly. Rain drenches my hair, droplets of water run down the back of my neck, sneaking beneath the neck of my jacket before it slides onto my back, raising goose bumps on my flesh. Gritting my teeth, I move as quickly as I can, continuously telling myself the rain will pass, it’ll be okay. But it just keeps getting heavier, the wind stronger.

I push a branch out of the way so I can make it up to the next step, grunting at the stretch I have to do in order to make it, but I must get my footing wrong. My boot slips and I have to let go of the branch so I can catch myself but that only makes it worse. The limb of the tree snaps forward, hitting me across the cheek with an angry slap but it’s the shock of it that makes me completely lose my balance.

I fall back, unable to even let out a scream and land with a heavy thud on the sodden ground, the wind knocking out of my lungs. My face felt like it was on fire where the branch had whipped me across the face and air was stifled in my lungs. It felt like I was choking as I lay there in the dirt, getting soaked through as the rain hammers my shaking body.

The water soaks through my over clothes, seeping into the layers I had on underneath and my limbs begin to tremble as the cold settles in, freezing my skin. I needed to find shelter. I needed somewhere to wait it out. I choke in air, trying to regain control as I roll over onto my stomach and try to push up onto my hands and knees. My teeth chatter painfully but I still tell myself it’ll be okay, I’ll be okay.

I barely make it to standing but manage it and stumble to the side, grabbing a tree, sharp twigs and pines biting into the palms of my hands as I get back on my knees and crawl beneath it, the scent of pine and wet earth stuffing itself up my nose.

It wasn’t completely dry under here, but it was better than out there, and I have no choice but to curl up against the ground.

And I lay there, and lay there, and lay there, the rain getting heavier, the light growing dimmer and the cold getting worse.

It was like it had burrowed into my bones, rattling my entire body and my fingers and toes had long gone numb.

I listen to the wind howl, shaking the tree above me, and if I listen carefully, I can hear the waves slamming against the side of the cliff.

I just have to wait it out, I think, but the thought comes out almost sluggish. It’s just a little rain.

Closing my eyes, I try not to think about how cold I am, how my muscles and bones don’t ache.

But it’s no use, not even thoughts of Harper or Torin can stop these icy claws sinking in and whatever sanctuary this tree offered has now fled, leaving me drowsy, wet and freezing on the forest floor.

Twenty-Three

This storm came in quick, far quicker than any storm we’ve seen this season and a number of boats got caught off guard in the bay. I help the last crew secure their rigs, drenched through entirely and turn back to Maya’s house, hoping to find the lights glowing from within and yet find it dark and empty like it had been all day.

I purposely gave her the space she wanted last night since she forced herself to stay out with Imogen, Vanessa, and the other chick I’d never met, and knew she only did that to avoid the talk I wanted to have with her.

This is the first time in years I’ve feltanything, I wasn’t about to let it go but I couldn’t force it, so I left it. But now she hasn’t been home all day, I only know because I checked… several times.

In this weather I can’t imagine she’s anywhere other than in the diner and if not there, then Ruthie’s maybe.

Making sure the guys are good at the docks, I jog home and change my wet clothes before I jump in the truck and make my way to the diner first only to find she isn’t there. I stop at Ruthie’s next, parking out front and jog through the rain inside.

I hear Harper the moment I walk through the door and something inside of me eases knowing they’re both here. A part of me was afraid she’d run.

I find the little girl in the dining room, swinging her legs on a bar stool as she watches something on the TV and eats a bowl of cheesy pasta. Ruthie is standing close by, tidying up the area around her.

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