Page 20 of A Christmas Escape to Arran

Amelia sat down on the bed and started to tell Jack all about the hut.

‘You have landed on your feet, sis. It sounds adorable.’

‘It is. You and Ray would love the cabin. It’s cosy and romantic . . .’ She could feel her eyes welling up and had to choke back the emotion in her throat.

‘Are you okay?’

She reached for a tissue and wiped away a few tears before steadying herself. The last thing she wanted to do was let her brother, on the other side of the Atlantic, know she was upset. ‘Yes, I am fine. Maybe a bit emotional, and hearing your voice always brings on the waterworks.’

‘Hey, it’s okay,’ said Jack softly. ‘You don’t have to put a brave face on things all the time.’

‘I know.’ She sighed. ‘I suppose I’ve been trying to keep a lid on everything since I got here.’

‘Have you told anyone about Declan?’

‘No. There isn’t anyone to tell yet. Well, other than Edie, who is a sweetheart, but I’d rather tell her in my own time.’

‘Of course. Well, sis, I would say that you’re stuck in one of the most awful places you could be. What with the beach right in front of you and your own shepherd’s hut . . . all that fresh air and stunning scenery. I am so sorry for you. How on earth are you coping?’

That made Amelia laugh. ‘It’s terrible, Jack. I mean, there are seals and beautiful sunrises. The sound of the rain bouncing off the hut is soothing, especially when the log burner is on.’ She sank back into the pillows on the bed and smiled. ‘There’s a lovely café and bakery which makes amazing pastries and coffee. People smile and stop to say hello when they pass you on the street.’

‘Sounds absolutely hellish. Next you’ll be telling me that the local hunk is in the lifeboat crew or mountain rescue team.’

Amelia laughed. ‘No, not quite . . .’ She hesitated, wondering if she should mention Fergus.

‘Talking of men. Have you heard from Declan?’

‘No. Which is part of the reason I haven’t told anyone anything. I can’t bear pity. Or questions. I still don’t really understand why he left. How can I tell people what happened when I don’t know myself?’

‘You don’t need to tell them he left. Just say you’re separated.’

‘It’s never as simple as that, though, is it? People always want the details . . . and, to be honest, I feel ashamed.’

‘Look, don’t go there again. There is nothing for you to feel bad about. You didn’t quit the marriage. He did. You didn’t do anything wrong.’

‘But I do. I keep thinking if I’d done more or been more . . .’

‘Well, stop. You are amazing and this is his loss.’

‘Sometimes I think it would be easier if he had died.’ Amelia caught a sob at the back of her throat as the words tumbled out. The thought had been percolating in her mind for a while now but until this moment she hadn’t had the courage to say the words out loud.

‘That’s totally understandable. In a way, that might have given you closure. This is a type of grief, Amelia. Except the love of your life is still very much alive and kicking.’

Amelia twirled a coil of hair as she listened. Having him acknowledge what she said, as normal, made her feel slightly less wretched.

‘He hasn’t replied to any of my messages either, if that makes you feel better.’

Amelia knew that would hurt Jack. The two of them had always got on so well. ‘Oh, I wish you weren’t so far away. I could do with a hug.’

‘I want to give you the biggest cuddle ever.’

‘Enough of me, though, and my woes. How are you? And how is Ray?’

‘We are good, thanks. Work has been as hectic as ever, but then at least I get the weekends off. I keep hearing the horror stories about shifts at the hospital that go on and on and on. So, I can’t complain.’

‘And Ray?’

‘He is great, too. I mean, busy with his patients as well, and always on at me to maintain my dental health. I swear, if his teeth become any whiter I’ll need to start wearing my sunglasses to bed.’

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