Page 22 of Thoroughly Innocent Intent

“Actually, I didn’t know anything about your past when we met. My friend Delaney and I saw you on the news, and she mentioned it.” I can’t look at him while I admit that. I feel too guilty that we gossiped about him.

“I get it.” His eyes are somewhat clouded now. “I’d be leery of someone with my reputation too. You should know that’s all it is, though. A reputation. Based on rumor and speculation, not fact. Don’t judge me by what the media says. Or by what other people say. Most of them don’t know the truth, anyway.”

“What is the truth?” I hold my breath, bracing for his response.

He rubs his hand over his face. “Truth is, I’ve dated a lot of women, although not because I wanted to see how many notches I could add to my belt like people try to give me credit for.” He shakes his head in regret, then takes a deep breath and continues.

“When I was younger, I wanted to have fun without commitment. I indulged in the lifestyle football offered. I loved it. It was an outlet, and at the time I needed it. You can’t live that way forever and expect to stay in the game though, so I got more disciplined. Total focus during the season. I still needed an outlet, so the off season became my time to let loose. To travel and date and just enjoy life.

I never started dating anyone with the intention of ending things once the season began, but women didn’t like coming second to football, so my relationships naturally ended when the season started. I never broke up with anyone, but I also never objected when they left since being alone let me focus on my game. It’s a pattern that works for me.” He shrugs sheepishly.

He doesn’t paint a flattering image of himself, which tells me every bit of that is true. I appreciate that he isn’t denying his past, though knowing his truth only brings up more questions. Questions I shouldn’t ask if I want to keep things professional, only the more he shares about himself the more I want to know.

“If women are a hassle during the season then there’s no reason for you to want to get to know me, especially now.”

“For other women that’s true.” He sighs, a wary smile on his face. “Not for you.”

I think his words are meant to reassure me, but they do the opposite. I’m not the kind of woman who turns heads when she enters a room, or captures attention through her wit and charm.

I’m the kind of woman who fades into the background, who doesn’t have anything to contribute outside my area of expertise. So, there’s no reason for him to take any interest in me, now or ever.

“You’re making it sound like there’s something special about me…” I shake my head.

“You think there isn’t?” he cuts me off.

“I know there isn’t.” I feel the heat rushing to my cheeks with that admission but press on, because letting myself believe what he says is dangerous. “I think you know exactly what to say to make a woman feel special, or to get what you want, but you’re wasting your effort on me. I don’t have any illusions about who or what I am.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He balls his hands in his lap.

“It means I’m not the kind of woman people notice.” I hold my hand up to stop the objection I know is coming. “I’m not the kind of woman you break your pattern for.”

“You don’t know me well enough to say that, Samantha,” he drawls, a slight warning tone to his voice.

“I know I’m not the kind of woman you usually take an interest in,” I say confidently.

“Of course, you’re not. If you were, we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I’d be having dinner with my teammates and getting ready for the season instead of breaking my rule about staying away from women.” There’s a gleam in his eye, as if he’s proved a point, though I’m not convinced.

“I appreciate your honesty,” I say evenly, because I do believe he’s being truthful. “And I’m flattered that you’d like to get to know me. I’m still not sure that’s a good idea.”

He nods absently, absorbing my words.

“It might not be.” He finally exhales, just before fixing his piercing blue eyes on mine. “But I think I’d regret it if I don’t try.”

“What?” I gasp, certain I heard incorrectly.

“I scare you,” he continues. “I’m guessing that’s because I’m not your usual type. And you scare me for the same reason. But I’m even more scared of not figuring out what this is.” He gestures between us again. “I’ve dated enough women to know that my reaction to you is different, and while I may have taken a few knocks to the head over my career, I’ve got enough sense left to know I probably shouldn’t ignore this just because the timing is inconvenient.”

“Uh.” I blink, totally at a loss.

“Doesn’t this feel different for you too?” he demands.

“I…um. It…Yes, this is new to me.” I exhale. He visibly relaxes, though I’m as stiff as ever.

“So, we’re on the same page?” He reaches for my hand and gives it a gentle squeeze.

“I…No.” I snatch my hand back like I’ve been burned, wincing when I see the crease form between his brows. I didn’t mean to offend him, but we are definitely not on the same page.

“This isn’t different.” I shake my head. “It’s new.”

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