Page 13 of Thoroughly Innocent Intent

Elliot was Shane’s lifelong best friend before becoming his wife a few years ago, and while the guy was an insane talent before she became a permanent part of his life, he’s gotten even better since then. We like to say she’s his good luck charm, but it’s more than that. If anyone can make you believe in stuff like soulmates, it’s those two.

“She’s due in March.” He beams, virtually bouncing up and down he’s so excited. I forego the normal fist bump greeting and hug him, because the first time you learn you’re gonna be a dad is too big a deal for macho locker room crap.

“What am I looking at here?” I pull back to study the picture again.

“It’s an ultrasound,” Dante adds unhelpfully.

“I know that asshole. I have a daughter, remember? Can you tell what it is yet?” It’s been years since I’ve seen one of these, and I never could figure out how to make any sense of them.

“Nah, it’s too early.” Shane gingerly takes the picture from my hand and looks at it longingly before hanging it on the inside of his locker. “We might wait for the surprise.”

“Are you gonna…” I nod toward the door where more of the guys are trickling in.

“Not yet,” he says quietly. “Maybe in the second trimester, or when she shows. Whichever comes first I guess.”

I nod subtly.

Shane is hyper-sensitive about his personal life because he doesn’t like the media to focus on that instead of the team. When he and Elliot first got together, they kept it a secret so their relationship didn’t eclipse what was happening on the field, and since he doesn’t spend any more time in the spotlight than he has to they’ve sort of been leaving him alone.

I’m tempted to think it’ll stay that way because the sports media seems to respect personal boundaries. Well, better than the entertainment media, anyway. But if he wants to keep this between the three of us, I’ll respect his wishes. And keeping it quiet might be for the best.

Pregnancy is a big deal. It’s been a while, but I remember it. Doctor appointments, morning sickness, weird cravings. And panicked calls that something’s wrong when it’s really something totally normal, like gas or heartburn. I had to leave more than one practice to rush Jen to the doctor over false alarms.

Things might go differently for Shane and Elliot since they aren’t naive kids like we were, but even so, pregnancy changes things. Instead of focusing on the season ahead, Shane’s attention is going to be split between his family and his team, and while history suggests he can handle it, babies are different. We all know that, which means we’ll all be wondering where Shane’s head is, at least a little bit. And that scares me.

A few minutes ago, I was thinking it’d be a mistake to walk away from a woman who seems to see me, but that was when I thought Shane would be able to focus a hundred percent on the game. If his attention is split, then mine can’t be. Logically I know that. At the same time, the thought of not exploring this thing with Samantha leaves me feeling kind of empty, and for the first time in years, I find myself wondering if putting the game first is the right thing to do.

***

After a grueling day of cardio, weights, and going over the playbook, my body and my mind are exhausted. I kind of love it. The burning in my muscles and my eyes makes me feel like I accomplished something, but instead of reveling in that feeling like I normally do, I find myself wondering what else can give me this satisfaction after I hang up my cleats.

That scares me. It’s not the right mindset to have on the first day.

“Yo, barbeque at my house Thursday.” Dante throws a sweaty towel at me, pulling me out of my head. “You gonna bring a guest this time?”

Dante and Shane don’t judge my ‘revolving door of relationships’ as their wives like to put it, but I know they still think I’m slightly crazy for dating so much.

“Don’t have anyone to bring.” I throw the towel back at him.

“You dumped another one?” He sits on the bench and shakes his head. “Why does any girl go out with you knowing they’re gonna get dumped when the season starts?”

“I have never dumped a woman in my life.” I toss my practice jersey into the laundry bin. “Hadley didn’t want to stick around after learning I wasn’t going to be clubbing or traveling for the next six to eight months. She thought that sounded boring.”

“Don’t you get tired of that?” Shane asks, sitting down to take off his cleats.

“Tired of what? Going on a bunch of different adventures and having great sex?”

“Tired of women using you.” He studies his laces as he says it, so he doesn’t have to meet my eyes. It’s his way of making a point while pretending he isn’t.

“I’m using them too.” I shrug, wishing that retort sounded as logical out loud as it did in my head.

“Bring your daughter then.” Dante steers the conversation back to lighter ground.

“I think she has a football game.” I turn back to my locker and start to unlace my pads.

“She has a football game? I thought she hates football,” Shane balks.

Crap. I didn’t think about that before saying it, and now I have to fill them in. I was going to anyway, just not right now. “She does. But they moved in with Jen’s boyfriend and he has a son that plays football at Rocky Mountain Academy. It’s like a family thing.”

---