Page 7 of If Only You Knew

“Oh, I’m your daughter’s future boyfriend. She’s fighting it, but I know I’m getting into that heart of hers.”

Can adults swoon? Because I think both Janna and my mother sigh like they’re seeing Uncle Jesse fromFull House.

Great! Now I’m never going to hear the end of it from my mom. I can already tell from the look she’s throwing my way that she is wondering why I’d pass up a chance to date this Brad Pitt look-alike. Unfortunately, I don’t even know why I’m pushing him away like I am. Must be that Stanley stubbornness I’ve been told I possess.

Shane takes this moment of quiet between the two mothers to look back at me. Now I feel my cheeks blush, for no reason. Damn this and damn him!

“Hey, Becs, if you’re looking for a good tree, I found one you might like. Want me to show you?”

I look at my mom, hoping she’ll say that the tree Kirk found is perfect even though it's seen better days, but the only assistance my mom provides is making this shooing gesture with her hands, which means I should follow Shane to the ends of the earth at this rate.

With an eye roll, I turn to Shane and make a gesture indicating for him to lead the way. I follow him, quickly looking at Ellie and she’s got the biggest grin on her face with an I-told-you-so smirk. These women in my life are all traitors right now. Even Laney looks excited about the prospect of me following Shane. What in the actual Twilight Zone have I entered?

Shane walks a few paces ahead of me, talking about the different trees in the lot. I honestly can’t focus because I have eyes, and all I see is the already impressive shoulders Shane has. I can see why he plays football. But he’s started to bulk up a bit since September. I look down to see if I can check his ass out and of course, the universe chooses that moment for him to look back at me. Shit, he caught me checking him out. Fucking hell.

“Like what you see, Becs?” So fucking cocky.

I don’t even try to answer him and simply change the subject, “So where is this magical tree you have in store for me?”

Shane stops abruptly and turns, and I collide with him. He instinctively grabs my hips and I’m not mad about it. Because I’m so short, my viewpoint is straight into his chest.

He steadies me and I look up at him. I can see the flecks of gold in the center of those green eyes when I’m up close to him like this. They are truly the most expressive green eyes I’ve ever seen. I can’t get enough of them.

My breathing picks up as we simply stare at one another. He looks at my lips and back to my eyes. Then his eyes continue, drifting up, and he points above our heads. My gaze follows and we are standing under a mistletoe.

I go to push away from him, seeing this as the setup it is, and he grabs my hand and pulls me back to him. But this time his hands grab onto my cheeks, and he pulls me into a kiss.

The moment our lips touch, I realize I will never be the same. Shane’s kiss is everything I ever needed and something I will never be able to live without. His lips are so soft, and his kiss is gentler than I ever imagined. For me, it’s life-changing, and the connection feels electric.

I have never kissed a boy before so I’m tentative, unsure if I’m doing this right. I take that back. I kissed Timmy Jenkins back in fourth grade because it was a dare. He smelled like cheese, and I was sort of scarred for years and even gave up on the dairy product for a brief moment in time because of good ole Timothy.

This kiss with Shane ends, and I already wish for our next one because he is the missing piece of my soul. Of that I am certain. He rests his forehead on mine, his eyes closed at first, but then opens them to find me looking right at him.

I think he’s gauging if I am going to go back for more or kick him in the balls. I do neither. I just stare at him until a throat clears, and we turn our heads to find Ellie and Shane’s friend, Beau Lorrent, standing with the biggest grins across their faces.

Shane and I both chuckle as if this is a normal interaction between the four of us. I slowly move away from Shane and grab Ellie’s hand to start walking away.

At the last minute, I turn to Shane and say what I’ve fought these last three months, “I usually get hungry around five o’clock. Maybe you’ll find me at Pat’s Diner around then tomorrow night.”

With that, I leave Shane, mouth agape, and stride off with my friend, giggling like fools because I set Shane up to go on a date with me.

What have I done?

ChapterSix

SHANE

Present Day

I don’t know how, but I get through the day. I cannot get my mind off seeing Rebecca. I’ll admit, after I broke things off with her following graduation, I expected her to come running back.

I left quickly after that night, but I honestly thought she'd write to me. Finding people wasn’t easy back then, not like it is now with social media. But I thought in some capacity, I’d hear from her much sooner than this abrupt encounter twenty-five years later.

Regret was one of many feelings I had after I left Saddle Ridge because it felt like a piece of my heart stayed behind.

Who am I kidding? My entire heart stayed back with Becs because no one has ever come close to what she meant to me. Every failed relationship since is a reminder that my heart never belonged to anyone else. But seeing her today, it felt like my heart was back in my chest, beating the way it used to when we were kids.

“Um, boss, where are you?” Janine is staring at me through our Zoom call, looking bewildered at the fact that her usually put-together boss is completely lost right now.

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