Page 61 of Where Demons Hide

I hear a muffled voice in the background. I sense Callisto’s grandmother on the bed beside me.

My mouth parts, my breath short and labored. Sweat trickles down my spine and beads along my brow.

Push.

He’s gone.

Press.

Maybe I can save him.

Panic wars with strength. My mind battles with my heart. My arms are tired. My hands feel bruised.

Crunch.

Bile shoots to my throat and my heart plummets. I just cracked a rib. Oh, God. I can’t do this.

I have to do this.

I push and I press and I pray. I will him to open his eyes and am met with nothing but stillness. I lean down, pressing my ear to his naked chest, hearing nothing but the echo of my own heartbeat in my ears.Please come back.

He doesn’t.

After my fifth cycle, I look at Carlos. His face is gray. His lips are blue. There’s still no pulse. My heart shatters, crushing all hope.

This can’t be happening. Not now.

Tears blur my vision. Pain clenches my throat.I’m not ready to say goodbye.

Suddenly, I’m being pulled back. Strong arms wrap around me. “Stop.” Callisto’s voice quiets the pain of failure, of the gut-wrenching guilt of not being able to save someone else.

I let myself melt into him.

He looks down at me, so haunted, so broken. He hasn’t cried. The only evidence of emotion in his eyes is the dark void behind them. The nothing.

I’m not sure how or where I find the strength, but I blink it all back. I swallow past the grief. I can’t break. Not right now. I wasn’t there for Callisto when his mother died, but I’m here now.

I want to help him. To heal him. To take his pain.

I’m so sorry.

But I know from experience that nothing takes the pain away, not even time. It’s always there. Callisto knows it, too. He is no stranger to loss.

It doesn’t get easier. You get stronger.

Carlos said those words to me.

“It’s too late.” He pulls me off the bed and against his chest. “You couldn’t have saved him.”

My heart pinches. I can’t help but wonder if Carlos knew he was at risk, if that’s why he pushed for the ceremony to happen so quickly.

I rake my fingers through Callisto’s hair, not knowing what to say, so I comfort him with a touch.

“He should be happy, right?” He looks at me, hopeful, pleading, more vulnerable than I’ve ever seen him. “He’s with her now.”

My fingers fist in his hair, needing something to cling to before I fall to my knees. “Yes, baby. They’re together again.”

Sirens blare in the distance. Matteo must have called them. I sit here, holding onto Callisto as silent tears roll down my cheeks. The sirens get louder. We wait. He squeezes me tighter.

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