Page 2 of Five Gold Rings

Chris is really not redeeming himself in any way here. I pop my head back inside. There is no contrition, angst, no regret. Who is this man? He thinks I’m mad? Maybe madness is lying. Telling your girlfriend of three years that you spent the night in, binge watching property shows and eating fried chicken.

‘This isn’t what it looks like… It was just the one time.’

I give a hollow snigger under my breath. Mainly at Allegra who stands there with her arms crossed letting me know that is also a lie.

‘How long?’ I ask her, tersely.

She has tears in her eyes. She knew we were together, there’s a photo of us on the bedside table that would have watched over proceedings last night. She could at least do me the courtesy of telling me the truth now I’ve caught them in the act.

‘Since the summer…’ she mumbles.

‘Allie!’ Chris exclaims.

She has a nickname. I pause for a moment, and a bottle of clementine gin destined for his cousin drops to the floor, shattering into little shards of alcohol, fruit and heartbreak.

‘Chris, we should go. Get some clothes on. Give her some space.’

‘But my stuff… I… I…’

‘You have stuff at mine. We can buy stuff.’

He has stuff at hers? I’m staring into space, mesmerised by the lights of the Christmas tree and all the deception bubbling to the surface. Chris scampers next door, pulling on tracksuit bottoms and a hoodie, grabbing his big parka, no socks, the trainers he uses for the gym, none of it matching. There’s a Fair Isle theme to his family do this Christmas. We would have matched in cream and forest green. I bought him a jumper, hidden in the back of the wardrobe. But I don’t say a word.

‘Eve, it wasn’t meant to be like this. Shit. You weren’t supposed to find out like this…’

‘How was I supposed to find out, Chris?’ I enquire.

‘I was going to…’ he spurts out, panicked.

‘Christmas day itself? Was it my gift? Were you going to get “I’m a big shitting cheat” put on a mug?’ I reach below the tree, digging through packages to find that gift. ‘Here’s my gift.’ It’s in a snowflake bag with a card:

Eve, With all the love in the world, C x

Inside the bag is a small red velvet box from Caspar & Sons. I pause. I know that place. I work there. I laugh. Seriously? I open up the box. I can’t breathe. It’s a ring. I stare at it for a moment then take it out, playing with the gold band between my thumb and forefinger, the diamond catching the light and casting its rays across the room. Solitaire, round cut, gold ring, low clarity. Allegra is struck silent by it.

‘A ring! You old romantic,’ I say dryly, my tongue rolling along my teeth, before flicking that ring and everything it meant out of the window.

‘EVE! What have you done?’ Chris cries, running to the window and looking out into the hedges, grabbing handfuls of his sandy brown hair in his hands.

Was it expensive? Good. Fucking ace. I hope he never finds it. Ever.

‘Get out. Now,’ I say.

And with that Allegra grabs him by the arm. The ground crunches as he steps over shards of glass. He doesn’t break my gaze the whole time; my jaw is clenched so hard I think my teeth may shatter. As he turns, I think about the number of Christmases I’ve spent with him, the money and time I’ve wasted on gifts, the number of times I said, ‘I love you’. My heart feels like stone inside my chest – grey heavy stone, everything that Christmas isn’t. I shut the door behind him and rest my forehead against it.

I hear the murmur of their voices in the hallway. ‘Crap, I’ve left my phone in there.’

‘You idiot. You can’t go back in there.’

‘She knows my passcode, she’ll see everything.’

‘Everything?’

I place cold hands to my temples and try to rub away my frustration, my confusion, my hurt. I walk to the bedroom. His phone is charging next to his side, as usual. I dial in the passcode and open up his messages. Filtered pictures of his genitals, messages about hook ups and hard nipples, a whole complement of emotional devastation on his new iPhone 14. I open our bedroom window that opens out on to the street. I throw that out, too.

Joe

Hey, Eve. You OK? So, as it’s Christmas and it’s a time for giving, I thought I’d give you this. Yes, it’s that thing. I know, I know… It’s a bit cheesy and last year I literally just gave you a chocolate reindeer, but I wanted you to have it. Is that weird? That’s weird. It’s just I’ve known you now for nearly two years and I think you’re great. Really great. And I know you have a boyfriend, but I guess it can’t hurt to hear that someone else out there thinks you’re amazing. I mean, I love you. That’s a lot, isn’t it? That’s a strong word. I like you very much. I like you, strongly. I’ve made my feelings for you sound like a questionnaire now. What I mean is, I just like being around you. You make everything better. Merry Christmas.