Page 43 of Sex Ed

‘Something I did?’ I ask, mortified to have been tapped out.

‘No, excellent technique but you’re here to learn. Other places to kiss are the neck,’ she says, running her fingers down her clavicle. ‘And behind and around the ears. Be gentle there. I had one bloke who used to stick his tongue in there and it felt like he was jet washing my ear drums.’

I kiss around her neck gently, waiting for her body to respond. She does a little shimmy in reply and giggles. The sound makes me smile. It’s a good sound. I’ll keep going.

‘That’s the spot. Next up, work lower. Nipples. The nipples like to be kissed, sometimes sucked but not hard, not like you’re suckling on them otherwise we’ll definitely think you have mummy issues.’

I salute her. ‘Can I play with them?’ I ask, a little awkwardly.

‘Yes.’

Naturally, not knowing that to do, I press her nipple in.

‘Ding dong,’ she laughs. ‘It’s not a doorbell. You can brush them, maybe massage the breast in general. When I’m more aroused, I may ask you to pinch them slightly, like one would with a nipple clamp.’

My face goes white at the mention of extra paraphernalia that I’ve only seen in porn.

‘Ed. Calm down. Here, you liked licking them last time, give that a try…’

She pushes herself down the bed slightly and I take one in my mouth.

‘Use your tongue to play with it… Like circle actions… Hmmm…’

‘Is that OK?’ I ask with my mouth full. She puts a hand in the air and I stop. Teaching moment.

‘So, sex is also a way to bounce off each other’s movements and sounds. If I’m moaning and arching my back and generally sound like I’m into it, then you just keep doing what you’re doing.’

‘And if you’re saying nothing?’

‘I’m bored, change it up. A good and considerate lover will tell you what works for them rather than just lie there and let you put in all that work for nothing. There is no point in doing that.’

I nod, mentally taking in all these notes.

‘So, are we ready to go lower…?’ Mia asks me. ‘This is when it gets special.’ I nod and she pushes herself down into the bed again, parting her legs for me. ‘What I am about to show you is pretty important…’

She widens her legs, lifting her knees high and giving me the kind of view usually reserved for midwives. ‘So you had a look the other day, I’m going to give you an assignment.’

‘Spoken like a true teacher,’ I say, trying to sound less nervous than I am. Please don’t ask for anything impossible.

‘Find my clitoris.’

I sit there, my mind like some mental flipbook of textbooks and scientific diagrams. I point to a general area above the urethra, gulping hard.

‘Is that how you’re going to get a lady aroused? You’re going to point to her clit? Touch the clit.’

‘You’re bossy…’ I gently touch her female parts, parting her vulva. This surprises me, how soft it is, I want to say like a new chamois or a baby kitten, but she won’t like either comparison and I don’t think that’s the feral foreplay she was after.

‘Bit higher, can you see my urethra…’

‘Where the urine comes out?’

‘Don’t say urine again.’

‘Noted.’

‘Now feel for a raised area and press, really softly. Remember the mouse thing? Small circles…’ I do as I’m told because I’m a little scared at this point but she inhales sharply and curls her back so her breasts are pushed forward. ‘Yep, a-doodle-do. So…’ she says, breathily. ‘What you can also do is use the wetness from my vagina to wet your fingers and move it up to my clit and then that makes the movement a lot more fluid and… Ooooooh!’ she moans.

‘Shush…’ I tell her. ‘You have housemates downstairs. I don’t want them to know you’re giving me sex lessons.’

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